Lindsey´s Angels 14
March 5, 2005
9.18 pm
Hands clasped together tightly, Xander rested them in his lap as he sat quietly in the backseat of Angel´s large car, in between Riley and Graham. Xander could hear Riley talking to him, but it was too much effort to concentrate. He feigned interest, occasionally nodding when Riley seemed to pause for breath.
He couldn´t focus on what Riley was saying; he was too upset by what was happening so he smiled.
Xander caught a few words here and there; Wesley, Cordelia, roast beef and cotton as the four men drove from one of L.A.´s outer suburbs and back into the heart of the bustling city. Attention turned to the nightlife going on in the streets surrounding the car; Xander let his mind drift as Riley continued to talk to him.
It was almost like a dream. Only an hour ago, he had been in the shower, washing the last remnants of his owner´s cum from his body. Just as Xander had started to rinse the conditioner from his hair, he had heard a loud crash from within the apartment closely followed by yelling and gunfire. Terrified, he had huddled in the corner of the shower, the warm water flowing over his shivering body. Even after the screaming and snarling had died down, Xander had prayed for whoever would find him to either kill him quickly or to be at least no worse than his owner.
He rocked back and forth under the steadily cooling water, not responding to the name that was called out. He knew Xander was his real name, but his training held fast. Hearing ´Scott´ finally allowed him to rise unsteadily to his feet. Shower turned off, Xander had walked out towards the voices, dripping water with each step. As he had rounded a corner and stepped into the main living area, Xander had encountered a black clad figure coming towards him. In an instant reaction, Xander had come to a halt, head bowed and hands clasped behind his back. Patiently waiting for an order.
Only a few moments later, he had found himself looking up at Angel´s face and Xander had been filled with a little hope and relief. Mostly, he had been instantly filled with almost overwhelming disappointment that Spike hadn´t been the first to find him. Xander had been told to get dressed as fast as possible, which he had done, all the while consoling himself with the knowledge that Spike was obviously waiting in the car for him.
At the light touch on his lower arm, Xander felt his mind pulled back to the present. With a glance at Graham sitting on his right side, Xander allowed his smile to widen just a little more even as the bitter feeling of betrayal started to wash away the disappointment.
Spike didn´t love him anymore. If he did, then he would have been the one to find Xander, not Angel or any of the others.
Stuttering a soft reply to Graham´s question, Xander laughed as he was told that Spike was waiting for him back at the Hyperion, earning himself a startled look from the man next to him.
It didn´t matter any more.
Spike had lied to him. He had promised to find him, not wait while Angel and the others took however long they wanted to eventually come and get him.
Xander didn´t want to believe it but it was all too clear to for everyone to see.
Spike had promised.
Most of all, Spike had lied.
"Bloody hell, what´s taking the f´n ponce so long?" demanded Spike, his voice echoing through the hotel´s otherwise deserted lobby. The floor space covered easily by the agitated vampire as he paced backwards and forth, Spike couldn´t for the unlife of him work out why he was so anxious to see Xander again.
He knew that everyone was jittery about getting Xander back. Mainly because no–one knew what condition he would be in once found. Even after Robin had repeatedly assured them that Xander was not in the least mentally affected like Leo, while he had been at Sanity, there was just no guarantee of how much the auction and resulting buyer had changed him.
Spike fully admitted that he included himself in the jittery stakes but that still wasn´t an explanation of why he had the urge to just grab Xander and lock him in one of the rooms upstairs as soon as Xander walked through the hotel doors again.
"Like that isn´t gonna send the boy more around the twist," Spike snorted to himself as he continued to pace, the lobby´s carpet cool and prickly underneath his bare feet. Although his foot had grown back entirely, he still suffered from severe cramps that caused his foot to seize up, the foot trying to curl almost into a tight ball. The good doctor had ordered him to remain barefoot for a few more weeks in order to get his new tendons and muscles used to flexing and moving in a natural order.
Toes flexed a few times as one of his muscles threatened to spasm, Spike sat on the floor, both hands massaging his right foot gently. As the new muscles twitched and jumped underneath his pale skin, the vampire twisted his head around to look at the large clock hanging over the lobby desk.
9.31 pm
"Fuck! Hurry the sodding hell up... knew I should have just gone myself," he muttered, still angry that Wesley and Joyce had altered the wards protecting the Hyperion. As of the time W´nth had found out who had bought Xander, Spike was unable to leave the hotel, the wards on each exit having been altered so that the bleached vampire was thrown backwards each time he attempted to pass through a doorway or window and out into the fresh air.
Wes, he could understand doing it but Joyce... well, that was different. The anger shoved deep back inside of him before he found himself throwing another tantrum, Spike shuddered a little as he recalled the last tantrum he had erupted into. Everyone had been gathered around the kitchen table, telling him that there was no way in hell that Spike was going to help Angel collect Xander. Spike was to stay at the hotel. It was for his own good... he was still in danger... he could be taken again... what would it do to Xander if Spike was accidentally dusted during the retrieval? All those points and many more had been thrown at him but the more they had yelled at him, the more worked up Spike had become.
It had resulted in him doing something that he had never done, even as a fledgling and he still didn´t know why he had even done it. Spike had vamped out and begged his Sire to go, whining like a puppy in order to get his own way. The growling and hissing had welled up from deep within his chest, startling not only himself but also everyone in the kitchen. Angel had stood staring at him for a moment before he had flown across the room to stand directly in front of him and had said no. As soon as Spike had heard it, all the fight had gone out of him. His bloody Sire had even reminded Spike of his official status, a Childe to Angel, something that usually got Spike firing off the worst insults he could think off and it was something that hadn´t even crossed his mind to do.
Spike paused in the middle of his massage for just a moment, his right middle finger pushing down on a twitching nerve in an effort to stop the annoying feeling. He had heard a car pull up outside, the heavy rumbling sound of its engine reaching towards the hotel lobby. A few more quick rubbing motions against his slim ankle and Spike rose from the floor and onto his feet again.
Facing the hotels main entrance, he unconsciously leaned forward as he strained to count how many people were coming towards the double doors. Unable and unwilling to stop it, Spike found himself grinning from ear to ear as he caught Xander´s scent as the Hyperion´s heavy front door was slowly opened by Angel. The first sign that everything was going to be ok.
Of course it was going to be all right.
Spike had kept his promise to the boy.
Xander was home and to Spike that was all that mattered.
March 7, 2005
8.43pm
On route to L.A.
Lindsey
Oh God!
Oooohhhhh God!
Ohgodohgodohgodohgod.....
I´m in deep shit. Not just in deep shit but, never going to come out of this alive type of deep shit. Maybe it won´t be that bad? Maybe Angel will turn me? If I get turned, I´m not really that dead am I? I mean, I will be but I won´t?
If I get turned, then I could still work for Wolfram and Hart. That is, if they don´t stake me or give me to Tomas. What if I get turned and then get given to Tomas? Oh my god! What the fuck am I going to do?
I can´t believe this has all gone wrong. Fucking Randall, King of fuck ups has yet again got my ass in trouble. Should have fucking known that the shit would hit the fan sooner or later. You can only work for the devil for so long before your ass gets bitten. Riding the smooth, well–oiled elevator all the way to the top I was, right to the top. I´ve done all that was asked of me – Hell – even gone out of my way at every opportunity to prove myself. Surely that´s going to account for something? Yeah, I´ve stuffed up but who the hell hasn´t? I haven´t done it so bad that they aren´t gonna come looking for me, have I?
Surely Wolfram and Hart will notice that I´m missing before too long and will send a scout party out for me? Maybe Tomas can have a look in one of his bowls for me?
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!
Everything was going so well.
Met with one of Randall´s clients at his stable. Nothing hard; just be on hand to transfer the deposit for one of the livestock into an offshore account. Play nice towards the client and his liaison person. ´Ohhhh´ and ´ahhh´ over the stock that Randall´s just broken in. Make sure that Randall doesn´t sell the boys off too cheaply. He´s still got on hell of a debt to pay back to Wolfram and Hart. Nothing hard at all. Didn´t tell me that the magic wards had been turned off, did he?
Nooooooo!
Had to fucking figure that one out for myself when jumping around like a complete idiot. And chanting did nothing to activate the sleep spell as we were jumped on from all sides. Sure, I would have been out for the count as well but at least Randall and that weird bastard Adam would have put me out of the way until I was awake again. It would have been so simple. Just a few words as soon as that cunt Riley barrelled into me and we would have had a nice snooze while Randall and Adam got Sire–Fucking–Lancelot, Robin Hood or whoever the hell he thinks he is and his bunch of merry assholes into secure quarters. Would have been so easy.
The promotion I would have received would have been unbelievable. New car, new apartment. Hell, would have even qualified for one of the firms ready–made trophy wives. Don´t want one but to be offered one, God, what a beautiful thing that would have been.
Me. Lindsey McDonald. The one to bring Angel in, and not only Angel but also an ex–watcher, an unknown and two ex–Initiative soldiers. The bonus on those last two alone would be in the tens of thousands. Tomas wants the soldiers, wants to have a nice chat with them about his brother, research wants Mr Wyndham–Pryce, maybe Tomas would´ve wanted the unknown as well? Angel, I don´t have a fucking clue why he´s always allowed to walk free but it´s the Original Partners choice. Not just the PTB that wants him around a little longer. Still, the fact that I managed to disrupt one of Angels little ´do gooder´ missions would have made the Senior Partners proud, may even have mentioned it to the Original Partners.
Now that Tomas has everything ready for whatever he´s going to do next, it means that the ceasefire on Angel and his friends is about to be lifted. That means they are free game, the firm´s put a bounty on each of their heads. A little reward system for the men and women in line for promotion to Junior Partner. Find out just which ones have the ´killer´ attitude, not to mention how much stress relief it would provide for the Senior and Original Partners. Would have meant that I brought them in early but surely that wouldn´t have mattered?
Maybe I would have been told to let them go until the ceasefire is officially lifted in a few weeks, if that was what was decided then I would have been more than happy to do it.
Fuck, I am *so* fucked. I don´t know what I was thinking! No way in the world would Angel turn me. He *is* going to beat the shit out of me, that much I know. Shit...*shit*, what if he drinks off me? Would it be that bad? Supposed to be good, addictive actually. The fact that all those disgusting blood houses are cropping up tells me that. Fucking junkies. No wonder all the vampires are taking over the city, everybody just keeps fawning over them.
Wow, I think my balls just shrunk another inch or two. What fucking balls? I so seriously don´t have any. Mr ´I got a set bigger than yours´ Tough Guy. That´s me... every fucking time... as long as I´m on the other end of a phone. Safely tucked away behind my desk. God, I can´t quite pin–point the exact date that I lost my nuts but they´re gone and if they aren´t physically, then Angel or one of his lovely cohorts is going to make sure I *really* lose them.
I hope its not going to hurt too much. Jesus, just when did I lose my manhood? Used to be a lot tougher than this. Didn´t feel anywhere as scared as this when that nutter Drusilla and that bitch, Darla, snacked their way through a whole platoon of up and coming ´soon to be´ Junior Partners. I sure as hell wasn´t scared when I was going head to head with Angel during the whole resurrection of his Sire deal, even if the prick did cut off my hand. Didn´t feel scared because I knew that it wasn´t my time to go then.
I´m scared now though. Everything has this overwhelming final tone about it.
I´m tied up in the trunk of Angel´s fucking car. There´s barely enough room for me let alone Randall as well. At least he´s still out for the moment. I think that English guy cracked Randall´s skull when he hit him with the rifle. Gonna have one hell of a headache when he wakes up, that is if he ever does. Will Angel let Randall live long enough for him to wake up? God, will Angel let *me* live long enough to pass out?
Where the hell is my spine? Probably still shaking on the floor along with my balls. Been living too soft, used to be smarter than this. Should have insisted that Randall take the client to another part of the house and show him video evidence instead of up close and personal. Should have asked if everything was secure. Should have just fucking left after the money was deposited, not hung about just because I´m a frigging pervert and wanted to take one of the boys for a test run.
Fuck, I´m a complete dickhead. Wonder how long it´s going to take for me to die? No way is Angel going to let me go quick. Hell, I wouldn´t either. Not after what I´ve done to people. No! No fucking way? The car´s stopped. Oh shit! The engine´s off...
Is it too late to start praying?
10.18pm
Sighing, Kate Lockley turned back to the young detective that was insisting on talking to her, the bubbling activity around her ignored for the moment.
"Yes, Johnson, what is it *now*?"
"Ahhhhh, um. The um, er, boys keep saying that they want to be taken somewhere without demons if possible. Should I get a counsellor ready down at the station?" enquired the nervous young man. Trying not to shuffle his feet too much under the direct glare of his superior officer, Keith Johnson could feel that he was about to break into a blush at any minute.
"Well, what do *you* think? Are they traumatised enough to warrant one? Really? So your answer would be? Yes. Good, the fact that they are seeing ´demons´ really says it all doesn´t it?" said Kate snidely. What the hell had she done to be lumbered with Keith the ´wonder boy´? Oh, that´s right, she had an opinion and had dared to use it back in Sunnydale. The fact that she had one of the best arrest records at her new precinct didn´t deter her superior from lumping her with all the burnouts and dim–witted youngsters she could. She knew why she had been transferred to child pornography, she was wanted gone and people didn´t last more than two to three years in that area. It was one of the hardest and ugliest sections to be assigned to, almost everyone quit after they found the constant horror had got to them too much.
"Well go on. Go. To. The. Car. And. Make. The. Call. Go!" she snapped at the nervy detective, resisting the urge to smack him across the back of the head in an effort to help him think clearer. Thank God everything had gone like it had been planned. Wesley and Joyce had gone through with the meeting with Randall and the lawyer, the money transferred without a problem, something that David was going to track down as soon as they got the lawyer´s laptop back to the hotel. They had waited until they had seen each of the boys, surveyed the layout of the farmhouse and the number of Randall´s helpers. Surprisingly enough, there hadn´t been too many people close to Randall´s operation. Adam and Fletcher, both whom had been in on it from the first operation, and two more men, Leonard and Casey. All of whom were on their way to jail for kidnapping and holding people against their will. As soon as Kate had talked to the six boys, she would also be able to charge the men with rape, torture, blackmail and assault.
Once Joyce and Wesley had seen the boys, they had made arrangements for one of them to be given the finishing touches before they picked him up a few days later. As Randall and Lindsey had walked their ´guests´ back to their car, Riley and the other one, was it Graham, had come up from behind and managed to restrain them with only a few punches thrown. The biggest surprise had been when she had been told that Joyce had taken out Randall herself, hitting him across the back of the head with a rifle butt. Too hard apparently, Angel was sure that she had given him concussion at least, if not cracked his skull. Joyce had made the excuse that she really didn´t realise how strong she was in her temporary form, not that she had shown the slightest bit of remorse about it.
Made for quite the cute guy actually. If she wasn´t already with David, and Joyce was going to stay that way permanently, Kate wouldn´t mind giving it a try. With a groan, Kate came to the realisation that she had known Angel for too long if she was thinking like that, nothing was surprising her these days. Rubbing at her throbbing temple, she wondered if anyone had an aspirin handy. She had a very long night ahead of her; it had already been a few hours. While Angel and his friends had dealt with Randall and the lawyer, Kate had waited in her car next to Angel´s, just a little way down the road from Randall´s new place.
Once Angel had come back to the car with Joyce in tow, the vampire had quickly told her what had happened while Joyce stayed to fill her in on a few more details of the general set–up before being picked up by Wesley on the way out, followed by Angel and the other two. Once they were a few metres down the road, she had contacted her superior and told her that she had just gotten a tip off that Randall was in the process of a business deal involving a small boy and was close by. Not that the numerous letters in the mail and ´anonymous´ phone calls hadn´t paved the way for her case already, something that she had done since it had been established that Randall was alive. The best idea she had come up with was getting a few of Randall´s old videos from Angel and had gotten a contact to ´doctor´ them so that the demon in them looked like some sort of subliminal image placed on top of a real person. These she had posted every two weeks to the precinct, addressed to her, so that Randall´s case would be kept open and at the top of the local wanted list. Hearing footsteps behind her, she hoped that it wouldn´t be who she thought it would be, only to be bitterly disappointed.
"Detective? Detective Lockley? Er, Ma´am?"
"What?"
"Um, all the boys are ready to go. I´ve finally convinced them to come out of their rooms....Bit shy they are. I´m going to ride with them, make them feel a bit safer. I mean, if that´s ok. Umm, all right with you?" Keith asked, unable to refrain himself from shifting foot to foot.
Looking at the man in front of her, Kate wondered if he would last long in her charge and if maybe she could one day be able to show him another side to L.A.´s assorted nightlife. Just with that one statement, Keith had shown that he was more concerned with the victims and not the perpetrators that almost every single one of his fellow officers would be more worried about. Maybe Keith was in the right field, mused Kate as she continued to observe the now openly nervous detective.
"Yeah, go with them. That´s good, getting them to come out so quickly. How did you do it? I thought that they would be in their rooms for ages and that we were going to have to call Psych. Services." Keith beamed with pride at the compliment from his superior officer.
"Oh...er. Ummm, just told them the truth. Told them what was going to happen down at the station and that I believed them when they said that there were demons."
"You did what? Why the hell did you say that?" demanded Kate, suddenly angry that he had contributed to the boys´ paranoia.
"But..um, but it´s true. I mean, maybe not in you know, real demon form, but there are people out there that can be classed as being so evil, they are well, ´Demons´," ventured Keith, unsure of what he said wrong.
Kate paused, realising that she had most certainly found someone that she could share her knowledge and experiences with. Just a few more months of close work, build up a steady work relationship and then maybe she could start putting the youngster in some odd situations and let him come to her with any questions. If he never did come to her, then it would just prove that she was wrong and never had she felt that she was so right about someone. Releasing a heavy sigh, she eyed the embarrassed man before her.
"Yeah. Yeah, you´re right. People like Adam and Fletcher and the other two. People like Randall Hargraves, you remember reading about him in the paper about a year ago? Good. Well, the first two guys, they were involved with Randall and the Eternal the first time around."
"Oh God. We got them? That´s so great but what about Randall Hargraves? He hasn´t gotten away again has he?"
"Oh no. I´ve got a hunch that we´ll catch up to him real soon. Don´t you worry, a person´s luck can only last for so long and I think our Mr. Hargraves´ has almost run out." smiled Kate, pleased to see that Keith was quick on the uptake. Kate stood looking at the younger man for a moment before he gave her a quick nod before making his way towards the car holding one of the more fragile boys.
"Yep, no difference between Randall and a fucking demon. Both pure and utter evil," Kate muttered to herself as she thought about the days to come.
Everything was planned down to the last little bit. In a decision between herself, Angel and everyone at the Hyperion including David, it had been decided to let Angel get as much information out of Randall as he possibly could. Kate had given him two days, after that, Randall was to be left somewhere deserted and the location called in to her precinct. Randall would then be arrested and charged with the relevant crimes. David had looked up the local Judge roster to see which Judges would be on duty for the next few weeks and when so that Kate could time the bail hearings for the most unsympathetic judges. If failing to get a good one, David was prepared to make certain errors appear in a few choice pieces of filed work and make them work for Kate´s advantage.
God, she was tired already and if she was, then those poor boys were already at the end of their tethers. Thank God they were nowhere near as traumatised as Angel had said the boys from Eternal had been upon being rescued. Then again, he had said it had been a delayed reaction. Maybe the shit would hit the fan later. Kate decided to go straight to the precinct and help Johnson with the boys as soon as the bomb squad had finished its sweep of Randall´s place. This time, they were not taking any chances.
Nope, this time, nothing was going to be left to chance. What Angel was going to do with the lawyer, she really didn´t want to know. It was out of her hands entirely and she really couldn´t bring herself to care.
10.31pm
Xander
He´s always around me. Fluttering, hovering, just... there and tonight, he´s closer than ever to me. Everyone is either nervous or angry about something and I don´t know what. At least they aren´t talking to me. Always asking me stuff. Am I all right, what do I want to do? Stupid things like that. Why do I have to do anything? Why can´t I just sit and do nothing? No reading, no TV, no talking to anyone, just sitting?
I don´t want to talk to anyone. Doesn´t matter anyway, I´ve hardly seen anyone. I suppose that they think they are doing the right thing, giving me space. Time to adjust and breathe. Give Xander room to breathe, let him get used to things at his own pace, that sort of thing. I suppose I should be grateful that they haven´t all pounced on me yet. It makes me happy that they are staying away, doing as Spike´s asking them to do. He´s telling them to back off from me, tells them not to use raised voices and sudden movements like I´m a wounded animal. Suppose I am in a way, an animal. He doesn´t know that most of the time I can hear him, thinks he´s whispering softly enough. Not his fault though, I had to get used to listening for any signs that Master was coming to my room, be ready for him before he walked through the door. Could probably hear a pin drop in the middle of rush hour traffic.
Every time that I turn around, he´s there and it hurts to see him. I´m a little surprised that I feel this way but I do. I trusted him for so long. Trusted and believed that he would come and get me and it hurts that I was wrong. I´m surprised that I can actually feel surprise. Didn´t think that I could feel that anymore. Thought that Master had ´surprised´ me in so many ways and so often that the feeling was gone, never to return.
I don´t want to talk to him but he´s going to ask why I´m not talking to him soon. I can feel it. The way he almost leaps at me each time it looks like I´m going to say something to him and the tiny sinking of his shoulders when he realises that I was only taking a breath or shifting in my seat. I don´t want him near me, but I don´t know how to tell him to go away. I don´t know how to tell anybody anything anymore.
I don´t want Wesley talking to me. I can´t understand it but he scares me. He´s different, not the same safe Wesley anymore. I haven´t seen Doyle yet but Spike told me that he´s had an accident and that there´s something wrong with him as well. I could hear his voice lose all the smugness when he talked about Doyle and that scares me too. What could make Spike talk about someone with respect? How much has changed since last time I saw them all? Why can´t they all be the same?
Angel hasn´t changed, why have the others? I´m not sure if I want to be back. I don´t want to go back to Master either but being here is scary and it wasn´t before and I don´t know why. One of Master´s friends would take me in. I would get hurt and tired and hungry or thirsty, depending on the mood of Master´s friend but it would be the same, not scary any more. I´m confused. I don´t know what to think anymore. I don´t know what to do. I´m so tired, I just want to sleep and never wake up again. No one will talk to me then and they´ll leave me alone. I can be by myself for as long as I want then. When I was asleep, Master never touched me; he said I kept him awake each time he tried to share the bed with me. He said that I would do strange things in my sleep. Spike said that I had nightmares, maybe I still have them. Maybe Spike really was telling me the truth when he said that. I thought that he was just coming up with an excuse to hold me at night. He had to use an excuse because Angel would hit him otherwise. I thought he held me because he loved me.
I cried a lot at night when I first starting living at Sanity. I missed Spike terribly. I kept telling myself that everything would be okay and that tomorrow Spike would come and get me. Everyday I told myself that it would be tomorrow and tomorrow never came only Angel did.
He doesn´t love me but I still love him even though he lied to me and I don´t know why. I don´t know why I love him and I don´t why he lied to me. When did he stop loving me? Did he finally decide I´m too dirty to be worth his while? Too used up, no longer fresh and pretty like Drusilla always would be? Can he smell too many other demons on me, the smell that I can never get rid of? Is it the jewellery that forever marks me as a whore? I don´t know when I fell in love with him but he always made me feel safe. Even now, when I don´t want him around me, I can´t help but feel that if he left, I...I don´t know what I would do.
He makes me feel safe but I don´t want him near me and that´s scary. I want to be alone but I don´t want to be. Everything has changed so much.
If Spike asks why I´m not talking to him, I´ll tell him but only if he asks.
What hurts me is that he hasn´t told me why he didn´t come and get me like he promised.
