Festival!Verse 10
Xander was on edge all day, made more nervous by Spike´s good mood. It was unnatural and inexplicable, a harbinger of a coming apocalypse. And the world might be ending if Spike meant for him to....
Surely, Spike didn´t mean what he thought (hoped, prayed) he meant. Xander had to be delusional. Spike would never....
Pay attention, Xander. Let me share Spike´s dirty little secret with you...he likes to be topped...penetrated...dominated....
Xander couldn´t stop thinking about the way Spike´s body had seized up as soon as Xander had penetrated him. The way that the walls had clung to his finger. The idea of putting his cock in there kept Xander hard all day.
Hard, and nervous. Chickens, not yet hatched. He had to be delusional. But if he wasn´t....
Oh god.
It wasn´t a big deal, even though he was sure the Grand Poofter would make it out to be. Thought he was the bleedin´ end–all–be–all anyway, from the fact that he´d had sole rights to Spike´s bum for so long.
Spike was choosy. He had his reasons. Not ´trust issues´...bloody wanker.
Angel was going to be so smug that he was right about the boy, and Spike sure as hell hadn´t gotten the idea from him. He didn´t need Angel to direct the way for his sex life, thank you very much.
They´d probably have a scrap about it, eventually.
But Spike had other things to focus on at the mo´.
It was a part of the boy´s continuing education, was all. Spike was being...generous. He was feeling right charitable lately, and yeah, he thought the kid was trustworthy (wouldn´t hurt a fly, if he could help it), and so what if Spike suspected he was going to enjoy it a little. More than. He wasn´t into pity–fucking, had to be something in it for him, and hadn´t he thought that Xander would be a brilliant top some day?
Some day would just start a little sooner than anticipated.
Didn´t mean much, really.
And it sure as fuck wasn´t some grand goodbye gesture, despite what some of these tossers might think.
"C´mon, luv. We´re retiring early this evenin´. Got things to do, private–like."
Xander looked up at the extended hand, then around at everyone else. All of the others, who were pretending to look elsewhere, except for Angel. Angel was smirking right at him.
"Um. Can´t we just...I think I want to hang out for a little while longer."
Spike cocked his eyebrow, challenging him. Mocking him. "Think you´ll like what I have in mind better."
Sighing, stomach churning with nervousness, Xander let Spike boost him off the ground, and then followed him to the tent.
He took a cue from Spike and flipped the bird when Angel sing–songed "Have fun!" after them both. Jackass.
They kissed for a while, and Xander started to relax. Spike lay back, pulling Xander over him, and pretty soon his stomach calmed and his heart grew noisier in his chest. This was alright. See, here he was jumping to all sorts of crazy conclusions about–
Spike eased him away. "First thing about being a good top is, you need to pay close attention to what´s gettin´ the other bloke off, and what isn´t–"
Xander´s throat constricted. "Uh! Can´t we just.... I mean, seeing as this is our last night and all, I think that we should just stick with what we know. Don´t change horses mid–stream and all that. I feel a lot better than I did this morning, so I´m perfectly capable of being the horse, still, and–"
Spike gave him a Look. "Don´t be a spineless twit. You want to top me, I want you to top me...everybody goes home happy. Now cut the nervous shite and let´s get on with it."
Well...that was Spike for you. Blunt as a...penis, god was he really going to do this?
Xander chewed his lip. "What if I´m bad at it?"
Spike´s gaze didn´t waver. "What if you are?" Xander´s eyes widened. "Never have to see me again. No reason you really have to worry about my approval, is there?" Xander flinched, surprised how much that little statement of fact stung. But Spike didn´t look like he was raring to part ways either, and that soothed Xander a little.
"Look, point is, I haven´t made fun of you yet, luv. Don´t work yourself up. You´re bad at it, we cut our losses and you go on to be good for someone else. First time´s not the end–all. But you´re not going to be bad at it."
Xander laughed nervously. "See, you don´t know that. You are clearly not aware of the Xander Harris track record of–"
"Pet." Spike grasped Xander´s chin suddenly with intense eyes and a firm grip. "Shut up. Kiss me. And fuck me."
Xander´s breath hitched with nervousness, but he leaned back down into Spike and kissed him again, carefully rough, the way Spike liked. The way Xander´d been taught. His heart was going double–time, erratic, but as the kiss went on, a little of his nervousness seeped away. There was comfort in the familiar.
A familiar mouth, but novel in the way it was being used to kiss back. Spike´s mouth was pliant now, accepting of Xander´s tongue with moaning passive aggression. Black–tipped fingers curled into his hair, not pulling, just...kneading the tense muscles at the base of his skull.
Xander was the one in charge here.
He pulled away, breath a little ragged with lust and anticipation. He couldn´t believe he was actually going to...God!
Getting a tight grip on himself, Xander sat up and stripped Spike´s t–shirt over his head. Spike allowed it, not helping...just limply accepting the removal of his own clothing. Xander had a distinct feeling that Spike was patronizing him...well, not patronizing him so much as...teaching him. Teaching him how to be the kind of guy that removed someone´s clothing like his hands weren´t shaking.
Xander was surprised to realize that he found Spike´s put–on passivity...really hot.
When Xander didn´t make another move, too busy thinking about fucking Spike to actually, you know, do it, Spike stretched his arms over his head, folding them supportively under his neck. His smile was smug, challenging Xander to ´bloody well do something, already.´ His eyes were laughing, teasing...fucking the bulge in Xander´s pants.
In truth, Spike didn´t do passive all that well.
Xander loomed over that pale, perfect torso, just feeling lust and suddenly he knew what he wanted. And the whole point of this was that he was just supposed to take what he wanted. Lifting the width of Spike´s rib cage in his hands enough to break Spike´s cocky posture, he closed his lips around one dusky nipple, teaking it. Sucking, chewing. Spike moaned, eyes tilting closed, chest expanding and relaxing in short bursts between Xander´s palms. Xander grew more confident with the reaction.
Spike wanted it, too.
"There´s a boy. Do what you like."
Nipping at Spike´s throat, Xander´s knees slid outward where he crouched between Spike´s legs, seeking stability and traction. The shift of his body inadvertently hooked Spike´s sprawling legs over his thighs, and the air caught in Xander´s throat at the way Spike seemed...spread for him. His hands slid down the warm, smooth skin to grip at rough denim, hauling Spike´s ass up the incline of his lap until he was grinding his dick into the seam of Spike´s pants.
Was he getting the hang of this or what?
"Bloody...." Spike tried to bring Xander´s mouth to his own, pulling at his hair, but Xander grinned and evaded, enjoying this power. Teased into Spike´s ear.
"Pushy, pushy. I thought this game was supposed to be mine."
Xander laughed again, feeling good, when Spike scowled at him. "Only if you use it wisely, you bloody little monster."
"Mmm," Xander contemplated, and closed his hand firmly over Spike´s hard–on. Spike bit his lip and breathed out an encouragement, face looking soft and fuck–drowsy.
Then Xander kissed him, and Spike was more aggressive this time, now that Xander held his body vulnerable, without leverage. He nipped and mashed and growled at Xander´s mouth, fucking into his hand.
It was quite possibly the coolest thing to ever happen in Xander´s sixteen years. Turning Spike on that much.
Xander slipped away just enough to remove Spike´s jeans and his own, and then he pushed Spike´s naked body open wide. His breathing was labored as he looked, chewing his lip...eyes flicking back and forth between Spike´s steady blue ones and his....
"C´mere, luv," Spike said finally, reaching for him, and Xander let himself be pulled down, because he was nervous, after all. Spike started kissing him again, a simple slide of lips, and began to rock his hips up into Xander´s, legs still sprawled open until they twined around Xander´s body. Encouraging Xander to thrust back and take advantage of his receptiveness, until he did.
They fucked against one another until they were sweaty and clinging. Just as Xander was starting to feel as though this were like every other time with Spike, Spike´s torso twisted for his bag and Xander stuttered to a halt.
Spike handed him a condom and a tube of lubricant, and then folded his hands matter–of–factly behind his head again, watching him. Xander sat up.
His hands were shaking just a little as he opened up the tube and slicked a few fingers, but he pretended like they weren´t. He knew how this went. It was fine. If by fine, you meant huge and scary and intimidating and...ok. Let´s stick with the first adjective. When Xander´s index finger slid into Spike´s hole, Spike took a big, deep breath, hips moving restlessly. He didn´t seem hurt though, just turned on. His pupils were large, set in a thin ring of blue that grew more intense as it shrank, focused intently on Xander´s face and hands and cock, still hard between his legs.
Spike´s body hugged his finger as Xander twisted and thrust, fascinated by the fact that he was doing this. Spike murmured to him, and Xander´s middle finger popped through Spike´s sphincter, into that hugging heat.
Xander´s heartbeat rushed in his ears.
He tried to stretch Spike carefully but well...the way Spike would. Except Xander was usually half out of his mind by now, and Spike just looked...well, turned on, but not.... And then it occurred to Xander what was missing.
"What does it feel like?" Xander asked, throat a little croaky. He cleared it.
Spike rolled his hips, fucking himself back onto Xander´s hand. "Feels brilliant, pet. Thought you knew that by now." His lips curled smugly up at Xander, eyelids heavy.
"No, I mean...." His eyes drifted back to Spike´s hole. "The prostate. From the, um. Inside."
Spike´s face grew more lax with lust, and he purred in approval. "Little spongy bump. Front side, a knuckle or two deep."
Xander held Spike´s eyes self–consciously as he felt carefully, searching. When he brushed over it, he returned to the spot, watching as Spike´s eyelashes fluttered, torso twisting encouragingly.
"´S it, pet."
Xander returned to preparing Spike´s, aiming now with each thurst of his fingers for the soft little mass and mostly striking it successfully. Lingering...rubbing over it. Spike was moaning and writhing for him, utterly caught up in the sensation...and that was more like it.
"Hell, that´s good...brilliant, luv. C´mere." Spike demanded it, but it sounded more pleading than authoritative. Xander crawled up, still fingering Spike idly as he was pulled into a hot, needy, grateful kiss.
Spike grinned at him in that devilish way that he had. He stroked a thumb over Xander´s bottom lip, and Xander bit it playfully. "Ready for this?"
"Pretty sure," Xander joked, poking his erection into Spike´s hip.
"Right." Spike was still smiling, but Xander could swear...for a split second, Spike looked uncomfortable, or nervous. Before Xander could ask about it, it was gone. "Sit up, so I can turn over, luv. Easiest way."
Xander nodded. Whatever Spike wanted. He fumbled with the condom while Spike...assumed the position. Literally. His ass was in the air, head bowed with his hands laced behind his neck. It was...guh. Yes, please, may I?
And yet, Xander wondered again about Spike´s demeanor. He guessed this had to be a little weird. For a guy like Spike. Xander was very aware that this was breaking Spike´s usual rule–he was making Xander a special exception. Xander soothed a hand down the smooth back angled up towards him, letting it seem like it was just his own nervousness, and Spike´s head turned a little to look at him.
"You´re alright, pet."
"Yeah," Xander replied absently, though it wasn´t really a question. He took a deep breath and pressed the head of his cock against Spike´s entrance.
He was surprised at how seamlessly he slid into Spike´s body, but Spike was no virgin, and he knew that. Still, it was a snug fit, and when Xander sank all the way deep, he had to pause and pray that he wasn´t going to humiliate himself. He didn´t think Spike was expecting him to be Don Juan, but still.
Xander was talking himself up to move when all of the muscles hugging him rippled tightly around his shaft. Guh. He had to steady himself by the grip he had on Spike´s hips, choking on his own surprise. It happened again, and Xander looked up and saw the blue eyes laughing at him over the pale swell of a shoulder. Playing with him. Making fun of his seriousness. Xander smacked him on the ass lightly and Spike grinned like a cat with cream, pushing back against him.
Xander began to plunge into Spike, experimenting with how hard and how often and how much, watching Spike´s face–paying attention. He ran his hands over as much of Spike as he could reach, down his smooth back and into his hair, teasing around his hard cock until Spike was swearing and fucking back into him.
Xander was charged...exhilarated with how very well this was going.
He grasped Spike´s shaft and began pumping, rewarded with a long moan and sweet nothings
("Bloody hell yes, luv, fuck me just like that. Pull a little harder on my cock.").
Xander pulled in short, shallow droughts of air as he pumped into Spike, leaning closer. He didn´t like how far away Spike felt, but when he tried to mold himself against the acute angle of Spike´s body, he lost his leverage and nearly, his balance.
Spike barked out a sharp, irate "Oi!" when Xander pulled out.
"I don´t like...c´mere."
Xander lowered himself onto his side and pulled Spike back against him. Spike´s back was tense until Xander was stroking back inside unevenly, trying to find a rhythm in this new position. It wasn´t as easy, but now he could wrap his arm around Spike, and suck on his neck.
Spike groaned and melted when Xander bit down carefully on his earlobe. "Isn´t this better?" he teased. He was relieved when Spike nodded, looking blissed–out and hypnotized at the rhythm of Xander´s hand on his cock.
Xander´s hips pulsed into Spike faster and faster, driven on by the praise Spike gave him in gasps and grunts. They slid against each other on a film of sweat, the air in the tent thick already with their own body heat. Xander sure as hell hoped he was hitting Spike´s happy place because things were spinning out of control in his own head and he wasn´t sure he could slow it down and do it right if he tried. His mouth brushed over Spike´s shoulder as he panted into it, and one of Spike´s hands was thrown back over his shoulder, tangled in his hair.
"Fuck, luv, you´re a natural."
The wave of pleasure came up on Xander all of a sudden, or so slowly he hadn´t even noticed, but either way the result was the same. He pressed his forehead into Spike´s shoulder and swore as he came, all of the muscles in his body tetanizing blissfully, stiffening, pushing him as far into Spike´s body as he could go and still remain on the outside.
The strong contractions passed and everything loosened in Xander. He eased off the grip he had on Spike´s body, which was a tad too tight to be comfortable for the hapless gripee. Xander felt a little blush creep up as he kissed the side of Spike´s smugly smiling face.
"I, uh...."
"Enjoy yourself?" Spike teased, clenching around Xander´s softening cock. "Go on and make it up to me."
A little embarrassed but still grinning with euphoria, Xander pulled away and rolled Spike onto his back, settling himself at the level of Spike´s cock. He was still buzzing on the coattails of his orgasm when he licked the flat of his tongue up Spike´s shaft, gripping the base.
He looked up at Spike through his bangs, loving the way Spike was watching him with hot eyes.
"Letting you fuck my mouth...would that make it up to you?"
Spike moaned, eyes rolling upwards towards the ceiling. "Good Christ, don´t tease."
Xander did tease...his tongue over Spike´s slit. "Who´s teasing? I fuck you, you fuck me...I´m all about the fairness. So...your turn."
Spike´s breath was harsh and audible, moreso when Xander gave his head an experimental suck. "Just a few days ago, you were shy and stuttery. What the bleeding fuck happened to that?"
"You did," Xander said simply. He closed his mouth over Spike again, applying suction but remaining stubbornly still. After a moment, Spike carefully rolled upward into Xander´s mouth, then again, and again, until he buried his hand in Xander´s hair and began to guide his mouth in shallow thrusts. Taking him. Spike´s eyes were dark on his, breathing harder all the time.
He was getting off on the fantasy Xander had given him, and that made Xander feel strong. Made him feel hot. He´d never thought of himself that way before.
Xander began to moan and vocalize around Spike´s cock, stroking his hands over Spike´s soft belly, and Spike unraveled, jaw and hand clenching just before he came into Xander´s mouth, calling out his name like it was a curse.
Immediately, Spike let go, before his body was even done tremoring. Xander didn´t pull away. He stayed and laved at Spike´s cock, not really wanting this last night to be over, until a shiver of sensitivity passed through Spike´s body and Xander drew away reluctantly.
He crawled up towards the pillow, towards Spike, who climbed half on top of him to share a tired, giddy kiss.
Spike flopped down beside Xander, fighting off the strange urge to snuggle, because...well, you had to draw the line somewhere, and that wouldn´t do. He contented himself instead with the way that all of his right side touched all of Xander´s left. The boy was still giving off heat in waves.
Xander was grinning.
"What?" Spike ignored the fact that he, too, was smiling like an idiot.
"I´m soo not a virgin anymore."
The corner of Spike´s mouth tipped up. The boy looked proud of himself–as he should. "No cherry left on you," he agreed.
"Nope. No cherry. Totally cherry–less."
Spike stretched and studied the ceiling. "Well. That might be hasty, come to think of it. Couple ways in which you´re cherry, yet."
He fought back a laugh over Xander´s wide–eyed expression. He could practically hear him puzzling out how else two bodies might fuck in his head.
"Never you mind. That´s advanced cherry–picking. You should stay at the shallow end of the pool for a ways yet."
Xander snickered. "This was the shallow end?"
Spike grinned and shrugged.
Xander´s head rolled to the side. His smile made Spike´s belly do a flip–flop.
He spit out the first thought in his head that didn´t sound poncy. "Suppose you´ll be quite the popular one at school now."
Just like Spike had snuffed out the lamp, Xander´s relaxed glee was gone. "Naw, it would take a miracle for that. Not even a minor one–we´re talking parting of the Red Seas here."
Spike frowned. "Not many mates, then?"
Xander looked patently unhappy, as though he had been reminded of something he´d not thought of all week. "No. Not many."
Spike didn´t know what to say to that, since he´d never been that good at having mates at that age, either. There had just been Angel, once he had come to the States, and that had been less of a friendship and more...mortal enemies with the hots for one another. But before that, he remembered the sadness of having no one. No one but his own mum.
Let it go, William. This is catch and release. He´s a strong lad, and he´ll surely land on his own two feet. Just as you did.
He trailed a distracting finger down the boy´s belly, making him twitch. "Well. They´re bloody morons. They´re clearly ignorant of the fact that you are a brilliant shag."
The sunny smile came back. "Brilliant, huh?"
Spike smiled. "Mmmm."
"Well...glad I could give you something to remember me by," Xander joked.
Something to remember him by. The words tasted strangely bittersweet.
Neither of them said another word...just drifted off to sleep, thinking about tomorrow.
Breakfast was smaller the last morning–an amalgam of leftovers from the week. The campgrounds were clearing out, and everyone was ragged–looking and tired, coming down from the exhilaration of the festival. Hungover on happiness–among other things.
Xander packed up the tent that he had hardly even used, bundling his things to carry back to the piece of shit hoopty that would carry him back to the real world.
Spike had been acting weird and twitchy all morning. Xander had woken up to an empty tent, which had never happened before, and he felt like Spike had been avoiding him ever since...though he never disappeared altogether, hovering on the fringes of wherever Xander was. Not looking at him, but instead busying himself joking around and helping everyone else so that there was no window of opportunity for Xander to ask him what was going on.
It was frustrating, but Xander guessed...it was to be expected. Spike had told him he wasn´t much for goodbyes.
They all trekked towards the parking lot in exhausted silence. Oz had parked his van in the same section as Xander, so they didn´t need to go their separate ways quite yet. But soon.
Willow clung to Xander´s waist as the boys packed everyone´s gear into the back of the VW. He smiled into her hair and hugged back, eyes abandoning Spike for a moment. He was pretty sure Willow was snuffling.
She huffed out a little exhale against him and pulled away, and her eyes were a little red. Xander felt a wave of warmth for her, and stroked a hand over her hair. Under other circumstances, they could have been best friends.
She slugged him.
"Ow!" He rubbed at his arm, pretending it hurt, because actually...it kinda did.
"Listen, mister, don´t get all...goodbye–eyes on me. No goodbye–eyes allowed. Put em away. You´re going to keep in touch, so here´s my number. Don´t make me hunt you down." She shoved a piece of paper belligerently into his hand, and he laughed.
"Okay, okay. Call Willow...check."
Willow laughed back at her own foolishness. But then she lowered her voice, eyes sliding to where Spike was chain–smoking near the hood of the van. "You should come visit. It´ll be like...you know, old times. These old times. I´d love to see you, and I´m sure other people...." She gave another unstealthy look to Spike.
Xander watched Spike skeptically for a moment. The guy was going out of his way not to look at him this morning. It made him a little achy inside, but he´d promised no messy string–y goodbyes, and Xander Harris was a man of his word. He turned back to Willow. "I promise I´ll come visit you."
Willow didn´t look thrilled at the emphasis, but didn´t push it.
Oz came by, shook his hand. Said Xander was welcome at their place any time, and then swung up behind the wheel, with Willow climbing in to ride co–pilot, chattering happily at her boyfriend.
Angel winked and slid into the back, holding true to form on the whole wordless gig. Darla had presumably ridden off to greener pastures several days ago, so Xander guessed the van would be a little roomier on the way back. Maybe that´s why the guy was in such a good mood right now.
Cordelia nagged at him and fussed over his wardrobe before she climbed in the van and bossed Angel into a different seat (because "all the other ones are ooky, and this skirt costs more than your sorry ass is worth"). Xander was still grinning after her when Lindsey blindsided him with a rough tackling hug that contained no less than five hard manly smacks on the back before he disappeared.
Xander was rubbing the abused skin through his t–shirt when Faith pressed herself up against him for a relatively chaste kiss.
"Make my day and tell me I ruined you for every other woman."
Xander grinned. "Probably. I´m gonna have to stick to men from now on." He sighed theatrically, ignoring the way that Faith´s eyes ticked to a pointedly disinterested Spike. "And I did so like boobies."
Faith snorted and hit him on the shoulder–Ow! What was with these people?–before she climbed through the cargo door.
And slid it shut.
"So," Xander said, turning to Spike. "I think that was our cue for a big movie finish. But seeing as you´re being a jerk and not talking to me, I´m guessing I should probably just ride off into the sunset right n–"
He was ambushed. Spike slammed him back into the side of the van, hard enough to rock it, and took his mouth fiercely. A bit of ash dropped onto his skin until he flinched away and Spike held the cigarette clear of him.
When he finally pulled away, Xander was struggling for breath, and Spike looked pleased with himself.
"That what you had in mind?"
"You´re an ass." Spike shrugged and took a drag, blowing it away. "But...yes. It was." Spike barked out a laugh.
Xander thought that was it, but Spike still had him pinned against the van.
He was studying Xander in a serious way that made Xander´s skin buzz. "Listen–"
"We said clean break, right? No biggie, nothing to say, I should just–" Spike grabbed Xander´s shirt when he tried to twist away and pushed him back against the van, looking unperturbed by Xander´s interruption.
"I was going to say, don´t let ´em give you hell at school. Bunch of morons and future zombies, most likely. Good little automatons. Folks like us get laugh last, yeah?"
Xander´s stomach sank. Spike´s parting speech was how to deal with bullies. "Yeah."
Spike huffed out a sigh. "Christ, don´t look at me like that, ok? I don´t believe I´m actually seeing the back of you. Red´s a nosy little bint, but not nearly stealthy enough for her own good. I know what she told you."
Okay.... Xander had no clue if the invite was a good thing or a bad thing, in the world of Spike.
He was about to ask, when Spike looked away, peering over the top of the van like the parking lot held a secret.
"You should come look us up in LA," he said quietly. "When you´re all legal–like." His looked back at Xander, eyebrows twitching upwards defensively. "Lot of things to do in a city that big, when you´re of age. And you know. Willow fancies she´s your soul–sister or some shite. She´d be disappointed."
Xander couldn´t hold back his grin, but he struggled to keep it from becoming too foolish. "Oh okay. Wouldn´t want to disappoint Willow."
Spike cuffed him in the head (and again, with the hitting!) and grinned as he mumbled around his cigarette. "Smartass." Xander found himself caught up in one more brief, whirlwind kiss.
Suddenly Spike pulled away and violently opened up the sliding door. "All right, you bunch of bloody wankers, show´s over. Osbourne, get your arse on the road. Someone smells ripe, and I don´t want to have to–"
The door slammed shut without a backwards glance as Spike continued to berate everyone and everything crankily. The van peeled out, Willow´s face pressed to the window, waving, and Xander gathered his things.
He couldn´t stop grinning.
Oh, yeah. He´d be seeing them again. And maybe, just maybe, he and Spike could have a repeat performance. Or five.
Or...well...more.
Xander walked a little taller, thinking about everything that had happened this week. Everything had changed, he could feel it.
Best.
Birthday.
Ever.
The End
