I'll Take Care of You
Xander could feel the blood dripping down his face as he huddled in the corner. Every time he heard the thump of another footstep on the floors above him, he cringed. He couldn´t move. The fear more a factor in his immobility than the pain itself.
Dad had told him to stay put. Had said that he´d be back. That he wasn´t going to waste his time looking for the pathetic piece of shit that was Xander, so Xander better keep his ass right where he´d left him.
Xander didn´t want to stay put. Didn´t want to wait until his dad came back even more drunk than he´d been earlier. But he couldn´t move. His whole body was trembling with the need to move and the need to stay warring inside of him. He couldn´t disobey his father. Not again.
Some days Xander wished he could turn invisible. Wished he could become the nothing his father always told him he was. He remembered that Halloween at the frat house. Remembered the feeling that had stolen over him when he´d realized that nobody could see him. That he really had become nothing. He´d been terrified. Yet, some days, he wished he could go back to that. Wished he could huddle in the corner and not be noticed at all. Even if it meant that his friends; Buffy, Willow, Giles, and everybody would forget all about him. As long as his father was included, he could live with it. Live with being completely forgotten, completely nothing.
The door creaked open and Xander shut his eyes. He could hear footsteps coming down the rickety stairs, and wondered why his father wasn´t already berating him. Already telling him what a loser and a freak and a goddamn waste of space he was. He cringed when he felt the soft swish of air that meant his father was kneeling beside him, staring at him, contemplating where to land the next blow. The absence of the usual alcoholic stench went unnoticed until he heard the first soft whisper of words.
"´s all right now, pet." Spike reached out slowly to pull Xander toward him, surprised when the boy resisted.
"No! Can´t leave, can´t move. He told me to stay put. Have to stay put."
The angry growl that escaped Spike made Xander flinch back. "Shhh, sorry, pet, Xander. Sorry." Spike soothed. "Your da´s not coming back. ´s okay, now. Trust me, luv."
"C-can´t. Can´t leave, Spike. He said."
"I know what the bastard said, luv. Same shite he always says." Spike said through his fangs. He petted Xander´s hair, then cupped the bruised chin in his hand. "Doesn´t matter, luv. He´s not coming back."
"But how do you know, Spike? H-how?"
"Took care of it, luv. Don´t you worry, now. I´ve taken care of it. Trust me, yeah?" Spike whispered, finally getting Xander up and out of the corner. He wrapped a warm blanket around the boy and began to lead him up the stairs.
"NO!" Xander wailed before Spike could get him out the door. He pulled away, trying to run back down the steps, but Spike stopped him. "Can´t! Can´t! Have to stay! Spike, please!"
Spike fought the demon down, the rage wanting to take over and spill out in a wave of carnage. He´d seen Xander like this too many times. The mindless obedience, the fear, and the self-loathing, every time that bastard got near him. Fuck!
"It´s over, Xan. That was the last time." Spike spoke calmly, not wanting to aggravate Xander anymore.
"The last time? What do you mean, Spike? What does that mean?" Xander pulled back out of Spike´s reach once more. "Can´t, have to stay."
No easy way to say it, then, yeah? Just got to come out and tell the boy. "You´re da´s dead, Xan. He´s not coming back."
"Wh-what? Dead?" Xander slumped to the floor, a dazed look on his face, the blood drying in a streak on his temple. "Can´t be dead." The words were whispered in disbelief. "Said he was coming back. Said to stay put."
"I know, luv." Spike answered, crouching down beside his lover once more. "Told you I took care of it, didn´t I? Not coming back. Trust me now, luv. Trust me."
"T-trust you?"
"Yeah, luv. Trust me." Spike assured, taking Xander into his arms and kissing the bruised jaw lightly. "Gonna take care of you now, Xan. Not gonna let anyone hurt you ever again, okay, luv? Never again."
"T-take c-care of me?"
Spike winced at the words, sounding more like a plea than a question of his earlier statement. "That´s right, Xan. Gonna take care of you. Just come with me, luv." Spike held out his hand, biting back the triumphant grin when Xander took it.
Spike took Xander back to his crypt. He´d found an old tub at the junkyard and had it cleaned up. He´d filled half of it before he left for Xander´s, and now filled the rest with the boiling water he´d left on the hot plate. Had to refill the pot more than once, but Xander hadn´t complained. In fact the boy hadn´t said much of anything at all since they´d left the basement. Once the tub was as full as it was going to get Spike helped Xander out of his clothes, apologizing each time Xander flinched from the pain.
After he´d helped Xander into the tub, Spike undressed himself and slid in behind him. He cradled Xander in his arms and kissed the boy´s temple, tasting the coppery flavor of Xander´s own blood. "Here, luv, let´s get you cleaned up." Spike dipped his hand below the surface, dribbling the gathered water over Xander´s hair and face. The bath was long and leisurely, and Spike felt Xander relaxing minute by minute.
"S-spike?"
"Yeah, luv?"
"Is...is he really d-dead?"
"Yeah, luv."
Xander was silent for a long time, long enough for Spike to announce that the bath was over and that it was time for bed. Xander stood up dutifully and let Spike dry him off before going down to the lower level. They were both still naked when they slipped under the covers, Xander automatically moving into Spike´s arms.
Xander finally broke his silence after a long, languid kiss. "T-thank you, Spike."
"Always take care of you, luv. Always."
"I know."
Xander shifted, getting as close to Spike as possible. He still felt numb, numb all over. Still felt like the nothing he´d wanted to become, the nothing his father had told him he was. "Fuck me, Spike. Make me feel. Please?"
Spike moved so that Xander was above him and then he brought Xander´s head down for a kiss. They kissed for a long time, Spike ghosting his lips all over Xander´s face, wanting to touch all the bruised bits and make them better. After awhile, Xander began to squirm above him, his hard cock digging into Spike´s abdomen. It didn´t take long for Spike to prepare Xander´s body, his long slim fingers easing in and out of Xander´s hole. The boy was practically begging to be taken, plunging down hard and fast on Spike´s fingers, pleading for the vampire to make him feel, to make him whole.
"Ride me, then, luv." Spike ordered, wanting to keep Xander on top, not wanting to aggravate any of the injuries his bastard of a father had visited upon him.
"Yessss." Xander hissed as he sank down onto Spike´s shaft.
Xander rode up and down Spike´s cock, eyes closed, lips pressed into a thin line. He wanted to feel every inch of the vampire inside of him. Wanted Spike to make him real again, to make him something, rather than the nothing his father had sworn he was.
Spike gripped Xander´s hips, helping the boy along. Encouraging Xander with a push or a pull, with dirty words, and a wicked tongue. "So good, luv. Always going to take care of you, luv. Never going to let anyone hurt you ever again, Xan. Gonna make you strong, luv. Gonna take care of you."
"Please, Spike. Please." Xander chanted above him, his eyes finally opening to stare into Spike´s. "Make me something, Spike. Please. Make me something. Make me real. Make me...make me...please, Spike."
Spike nodded, squeezing Xander´s hips just a bit harder as he surged up, demon to the fore.
"Yessss!" Xander screamed, coming hard as Spike´s fangs pierced his flesh.
Spike came at the first taste of Xander´s life. He continued to drink as his cock pulsed inside Xander´s tight tunnel. And when Xander´s heart slowed, his body going limp, Spike pulled out, laying Xander beside him. Then he cut his own wrist on a fang and held it up to Xander´s mouth and waited. The boy drank sluggishly, the rasp of his tongue teasing Spike´s skin as the cut began to close.
"Sleep, luv." Spike whispered, petting Xander´s hair, his face. "I´ll take care of you."
The End
