Nexus Chapter 25b
Xander swam up to wakefulness, his face buried in the bedding, reluctant to face the day. Bits and pieces of the night before drifted into his memory, and he stretched out an arm, searching the bed for a vampire.
He was alone. He groaned into the pillow. Angelus had said that Angel would be there in the morning. So, obviously, true to form, Angel had taken off. His spirits plummeting, he considered his options. He wasn´t up to public transportation yet, but maybe Willow could come and get him. Opening weary eyes, he frowned as he realized he was not in the same bedroom he´d fallen asleep in. What the hell? He studied the room for a minute, still dazed with sleep, eventually figuring out that he was in Angel´s bed.
Before he could decide whether this was a good thing or a bad thing, the door opened, and the vampire came in balancing a loaded tray.
Seeing Xander peering at him, he paused for a second. “You´re awake.” He set the tray down on the table by the bed, then sat down on the mattress, reaching out cautiously to card his fingers through Xander´s soft hair.
“Angelus?”
Angel winced inwardly. “No, sweetheart, it´s me, Angel.” He took one of Xander´s hands in his, idly caressing the calloused palm. “I´m sorry, I wanted to be back before you woke up.”
Xander tried to gather his wits. “How come I´m in your room?”
Angel reached for the tray and settled it across Xander´s lap. “Because this is where you belong, and you would have been here all along if I wasn´t a complete idiot.”
More nervous than he had been in two centuries, the vampire fussed about with the items on the breakfast tray. “I made you an omelet. Ham and mushrooms, with Swiss. And toast; white bread, lightly toasted, lots of butter. Oh, and orange juice. See? I remember what you like.” The vampire swallowed, anxious. “That´s why I wasn´t here when you woke up. I was making you breakfast.”
Finally, he raised his eyes to meet Xander´s. Big and brown, with a little gleam of hope starting. “You must be hungry, right?”
Xander paused, not really sure what to make of the situation. Okay, dealing. And he was hungry, actually. He hadn´t felt much like eating the last couple of days. He picked up his fork and took a few bites–it was good, but….“Angel, what´s going on?”
“Go ahead and eat. I want you to heal and get strong again. You eat, and I´ll talk.” Angel was so nervous that his voice trembled. “Angelus has made himself scarce, you know that, right?”
Xander nodded, his mouth full.
Angel smoothed back unruly waves, enjoying the sight of Xander´s hearty appetite. “Just so you know, before he took himself off, he kicked my ass, and rightly so. It´s a strange world where my demon´s lecturing me on the right way to behave, but I had it coming.” Angel ventured a smile as he saw the little spark kindling in Xander´s eyes.
“He adores you. I didn´t fully realize how much until these last few weeks. I always thought that he was the most single–mindedly obsessive demon that had ever been, but in his mother–bear role, he reaches terrifying new heights.”
Xander chuckled between bites, a dreamy look passing over his features. “I love him.”
“Yes, I know. But, do you love me, too? No, don´t answer.” Angel hurried on before Xander could speak. “I´ve got no right to ask you that before I tell you…” He swallowed, brushing his fingers wistfully against Xander´s arm. “I asked Angelus to make himself scarce so that you´d know without a doubt that this was all coming from me.”
The vampire drew a deep shuddering breath and forged ahead. “I´m so used to denying myself, running away from happiness….being around you was scary, because just being in the same room with you makes me feel so happy, and I´ve conditioned myself to think that´s wrong. Then, when you got hurt…Well, it terrified me. I could have lost you, and while you were in danger, I couldn´t think of anything but staying with you, as if just being there, I could somehow keep you from slipping away. Then, when we knew you were going to be alright, I just lost it. I don´t know if you remember, but the night you came home, I sneaked into your bed.”
Xander had finished eating, and the vampire took the tray, his every move reflecting his tension.
“I remember.” Xander´s voice was tight with hurt. “And I thought that meant everything was going to be okay. But then you stayed away.”
“I know. I´m an idiot, and I´m sorry…sorry…so sorry.” The breakfast tray set aside, Angel had taken Xander in his arms, and each repetition was punctuated by a light kiss, and Xander was well on his way to forgiveness.
“But I lay there holding you that night, and slept for a while–best sleep I´ve had in I don´t know how long. And then I woke up, and watched you sleep, and you looked so pale and fragile, and the whole thing just fell on me like a ton of bricks–aftershock, I guess. I´d never let myself fully feel just how much I loved you, but I do, so much you´re part of me. You could´ve been killed on my watch, and I would never have forgiven myself, and I couldn´t image dragging myself through a world without you in it, and I was fucking SCARED.”
“So, like a complete coward, I ran. Like I was somehow safer away from you. I´m an idiot.” Angel, never good with words, had thought this was going to be hard. But it wasn´t too bad, and it just kept getting easier. It was Xander, and–he realized finally–he could tell Xander anything. His voice steadier, he continued.
“But it won´t happen again. We´re together, if you´ll have me.”
“You´re not going to take off again?”
Angel tightened his arms. “No, I´m sticking close by from here on out.”
“Oh.” Xander finally fully relaxed into his vampire´s embrace. “I´m glad. I need you with me. Oh, but you´ll probably have to go away for a little while when Maria comes.”
Angel tensed against the bolt of jealous possessiveness that shot through him.
“She´s the nurse you hired, remember? I like her. It felt really good to get a real bath again.” Unaware he was turning a knife in Angel´s gut, he continued. “It was a little embarrassing at first, but she´s cool, and I was okay with it.”
Struggling to keep his voice steady, Angel´s words came out a little clipped. “Well, then, I´m glad that I gave her a bonus this morning when I fired her.”
“You fired her? Well, then, who´s gonna…”
Royally pissed at himself, Angel barked “Don´t you finish that sentence!” Then, instantly contrite, he stroked his boy´s cheek. “Xander….”
Xander was now grinning up at him, giddy with relief and happiness. “So you´re gonna be bath guy, huh? Gonna scrub me down every day until I can do it myself?
“Damn right. And from to time afterwards, just to keep my hand in. Alright with you?”
“Oh, yeah.”
The look on Xander´s face made Angel´s spirits soar. He´d done okay. His boy was going to stay with him, and he´d made him happy.
Half an hour later, having been medicated and carried to his bath, Xander smiled drowsily and murmured, “You know, I just love it when you get me high then bathe me.”
Angel, kneeling beside the bathtub, winced in pain. Even without Xander´s remark, the situation was too similar, forcing him to remember the last time he had done just that. “That was one of the worst days I remember, with or without the soul. Lean forward and let me wash your back.”
“It was one of my best days,” said Xander, smiling shyly at Angel over his shoulder.
At that astonishing statement, Angel´s hands stilled on Xander´s skin, then dropped away, guilt tearing at him. “I´m sure you were very relieved I had stopped trying to kill you, and very glad to have something to eat.” The vampire´s voice was ragged with self–loathing, his eyes on his hands, which were now idly holding the soap.
Xander twisted around in the tub and leaned his forehead against the vampire´s. “Stop it. It wasn´t even you.”
“It was me. How can you even stand to touch me?”
Xander closed his eyes and rolled his forehead against Angel´s, back and forth. “´Cause I love you, and your demon. And that´s the day I knew your demon loved me.”
“Xander, how can you say that?” the vampire whispered achingly, cupping the back of Xander´s head in the gesture that had come to mean protectiveness. “Just because I stopped abusing you before I completely destroyed you?”
“Angel, I´m the child of alcoholic parents.” Xander smiled as the hand on the back of his head stroked and Angel´s other arm curved around him, pulling him as close as the porcelain between them would allow.
“They got drunk and abused me on a regular basis, a few times really bad, and they´d feel guilty, and there would be ice cream, or a toy, when I was little. But they never once cared enough to try to address their addiction. Not in all the years I was in their house. The first time you sobered up and realized what you´d done, you stopped.” He kissed Angel, stroking his face with wet, warm fingers. “I never thought anyone would ever love me like that.”
Angel looked at him, his heart in his eyes, then stood and slipped out of his boxers. Smiling now, Xander scooted carefully forward in the tub. Angel helped him to reposition his wounded leg, then stepped into the tub, settling behind his boy, bracketing Xander´s hips with his long legs.
Xander sighed happily as he settled back against his sturdy vampire, feeling powerful arms wrapped around him.
“I love you, Xander.” Angel´s voice was thick with unshed tears.
Xander lolled his head on the vampire´s shoulder to press a soft kiss on the side of his throat. “Wanna know when I knew that for sure? I mean you, not him?”
Angel went very still. “When?”
Xander grinned up at him. “The first time I saw the doctor after I woke up at the hospital and he talked about how devoted my partner was, how crazy you were when you brought me in, and how you fought to stay close to me. Well actually, first he seriously wigged me by mentioning that Mr. Harris was right outside; I thought for a minute my father was there.” Xander laughed. Angel did not; he couldn´t hear Xander mention his father without wanting to do murder. Interestingly, the absence of the demon didn´t change that.
“Angel?”
“What, baby?”
“I´m sorry about last night. I kind of overreacted.”
Angelus caught a sharp breath and buried his face in Xander´s hair, moved and humbled by his boy´s sweetness.
Finally he spoke. “You can´t be blamed for that; I deserved it. The question is, can you forgive me? I didn´t mean to hurt you, but I did. And I´m so sorry.”
“Forgiven and forgotten.” Xander turned his head to offer a kiss. “I love you.”
Angel accepted the gift, his mouth moving softly over Xander´s. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
“Promise me, Angel…”
“Anything.”
“When there´s something wrong, don´t try to fix it yourself, okay? That´s not how it works. Talk to me about it. And I´ll promise you the same, deal?”
Angel hugged Xander close. “Yes. I promise. Partners, right?”
“Yeah. Partners.” Xander closed his eyes, content.
Soon after, Angel was settled against the pillows in his bed, his Xander sprawled half–across him, dark head resting against his chest. The vampire was happier than he could remember being in all his days. Only two things slightly disturbed his peace.
First, he fought constantly to control his desire; he felt guilty about the way he burned for Xander, who was very obviously still too weakened for such things. Breakfast and a bath were enough to exhaust his boy; his eyelids had been drooping before Angel had gotten him out of the tub and toweled dry.
Second was the wounds. He had gently removed the wet bandages in the bath. The head wound was healing nicely, as was the much more serious wound on the thigh. It was the neck wound that haunted the vampire, two alien fang punctures turning into scars, marring his own claim mark on his boy´s throat. Without the demon´s presence, such a thing shouldn´t bother him, but it did. Immensely.
Xander was drifting toward sleep, but he wasn´t quite ready to give up. “Angel?”
“What, baby? Why aren´t you asleep yet?”
“I´m sorry I´m such a wuss. That I´m not strong enough to make love yet. I want to.”
Angel swallowed a groan, struggling to control his body´s reaction to even the mention of having his boy. “It´s alright, sweetheart. I can wait. It´ll be well worth it. Right now all that´s important is that I´ve got you here with me. Sleep, baby.”
Reassured, Xander cuddled closer and obediently closed his eyes, but couldn´t close his mind to way Angel´s fingers were unconsciously stroking over the troubling wound on Xander´s neck.
“Angel?”
“Shh, Xander. Shhhh. Go to sleep.”
“I will, in a minute.” Xander brushed his lips lazily against the vampire´s satiny shoulder. “Just, remember, when Angelus is back with us, and I´m a little stronger, you´ll bite me, and the scar will be gone.”
Angel choked back a groan at the thought of biting Xander, claiming him anew, buried deep in that hot body….it was a revelation. Instincts, thoughts he had attributed to the demon alone were with him as he imagined it all, wanting it, wanting it so very badly.
Soon. Soon. Angel thought about it, and waited. Held tightly in his arms, Xander drifted into sleep, relaxed against him, trusting.
A week later, Cordelia sat with the phone wedged firmly between cheek and shoulder, feet up on the desk, doing her nails. “I´m in the office late, so I thought I´d give you a call on the company dime. What´s new?”
She paused . “No, nothing Apocalypsy, just doing a little filing.” She smirked, examining her fingertips critically while Willow, on the other end of the line, related the latest chapter in the Adventures of Dawn and Spike.
It was quite a story, involving the home address of a mean math teacher, fifty rolls of toilet paper, three cans of spray paint, a cage full of mice from the school science lab, and a near–miss with a prowling squad car. The whole thing ended with the partners in crime sneaking back into the darkened Summers house, thinking that they had pulled their caper off, only to be busted at the last minute by a Slayer wearing a bathrobe and a scowl.
Diverted, Cordelia abandoned her manicure, dropped her feet to the floor and propped her elbows on the desk. “Ohhh! I wish I´d been there to see that! So, did it end dustily?”
Willow snorted. “Not even. Dawn got sent up to bed, so she had no idea how Spike managed it, but she didn´t get grounded or anything, and Buffy was laughing about it the next day.”
“Omigod! I don´t believe it! Since when can Spike talk Buffy out of anything?”
“Well, actually…” Willow hesitated briefly, then succumbed to the thrill of gossip, feeling very naughty. “…the real question is, can he talk her INTO anything?”
Cordelia froze, shocked. “Are you serious? I mean, I know he´s been carrying a torch for years, but you don´t seriously think that she´d ever…?”
“Well, I know it sound weird, but he´s…” Willow paused for a second. “…he´s changed a lot, and he´s actually kind of sweet.”
Cordelia yelped. “What? Excuse me, but did you just say that Spike was kind of SWEET? That´s it. I knew it. He´s putting something in the coffee at your house.”
Willow laughed, then changed the subject. “So what´s new where you are? How´s Xander?”
Just then, Cordelia heard the rusty sound of the old elevator descending. Standing, she peered out into the lobby as Xander made his way slowly out into the big lobby, still limping noticeably. Keeping her voice low, she answered, “Oh, Xander´s just dandy, Angel is sickening, and the rest of us are suffering from nervous exhaustion. There´s nothing like being awakened on a near–nightly basis by someone screaming “Angelus!” at the top of his lungs in the wee hours.”
Listening to Willow´s less–than–sympathetic giggles, Cordelia watched Xander loiter aimlessly about the big lobby, looking a little lost. As she looked on, the front door flew open and Angel strode in, his eyes finding Xander instantly.
“You´ll have to speak up, Willow. You´re being drowned out by the swell of violins,” Cordelia remarked dryly. “Xander and Angel, having been tragically parted by fate for two endless hours, are having a heart–warming reunion in the middle of the lobby with no consideration whatsoever for innocent bystanders. I swear to God, Willow, I´m living in the middle of a cheesy porn flic, and I´m STILL not getting any.”
Oblivious to Cordelia´s presence in the adjacent office, the vampire was holding Xander close, carefully supporting his boy´s weight with one arm, his other hand running over the young body anxiously, something he did compulsively anytime they had been separated for more than an hour or so.
Xander closed his eyes and leaned into the safe harbor of his mate´s body, happy as always to submit patiently to this strange little ritual. They had never talked about it, but Xander was pretty sure he understood.
Angelus hadn´t been exaggerating when he said both he and the soul had been badly scared by the attack on Xander. Now that Xander had stopped taking so much pain medication, he was sometimes awakened in the night by the vampire tossing in his sleep, crying out softly for his boy. Xander would snuggle close and stroke his lover soothingly, whispering reassuringly until the nightmares faded and Angel slept normally again, his young mate draped across him protectively.
Now, in the Hyperion lobby, Xander wrapped his arms around his vampire´s neck, crooning in his ear, “Missed you, honey, love you.”
Lulled by Xander´s voice, Angel´s anxious hands slowed their restless checking, the touch evolving into soft caresses as he turned his head to find Xander´s lips with his. Xander moaned into the kiss, arching his body against the vampire´s, desire sparking into flashfire.
Angel had been very careful with his mate. The last several nights, the two of them had taken their pleasures slowly, the vampire insisting on treating Xander as though he were made of glass. Hands and mouths and the friction of rubbing bodies brought about momentary relief, banking the flame of desire enough to make it bearable for a time.
Xander sighed into his mate´s mouth, then drew away a hair´s breadth. “Want you.”
A shudder went through the vampire´s body and his bit softly at Xander´s ear. “Yes. Yes, want you, too.”
Xander arched his throat invitingly. “In me,” he muttered. “Need you in me.”
Angel froze, then growled softly, kissing Xander hungrily, grinding a suddenly rock–hard erection against his mate´s body. Drawing away reluctantly, the vampire cupped the side of his boy´s face. “Are y´ sure, dearling? I don´t want to hurt you, or over tire you.”
Xander turned his head to press his lips into the vampire´s palm. “Need you.”
A quick trip up the stairs in the arms of his eager lover, and soon Xander was naked and ready in their bed, Angel covering him with hot kisses.
Soon, Xander was pleading, “Now, please…” and Angel kissed him once more, settled himself between Xander´s legs, then hooked one of his mate´s legs up over his shoulder. The other leg, the wounded one, he arranged gently around his hips. For a moment, gleaming golden eyes looked lovingly down into soft brown ones, then Angel was gliding slowly into his boy, reveling in the tight heat of him.
They moved wordlessly, their eyes never leaving each other´s. Xander felt tears start in his eyes at the unconcealed love in his mate´s gaze. The vampire brushed the drops away with gentle fingers. “Sweetheart.” Angel bent and kissed Xander tenderly.
A blissful expression on his face, Xander turned his head slightly, arching his neck.
Angel flashed instantly into game face and bent to lick and kiss for long moments at the site of his claim, purring with anticipation. He´d been waiting so long….Still stroking firmly into his boy´s tight body, Angel positioned his fangs carefully to obliterate the scars that didn´t belong on the throat of his Claimed, and sank his teeth to the hilt. At this second intimate penetration, Xander cried out and came, clutching Angel to him. Soul and demon together roaring their deep satisfaction, the vampire lifted bloody fangs from his claimed´s throat to cry out his pleasure into his boy´s sweet mouth, claiming Xander´s body anew with his seed.
Five weeks after his return from the hospital, Xander sat shirtless in the lobby of the Hyperion while Fred carefully stitched up a deep gash on his upper arm. Running to the hospital every time someone bled was just too impractical on a number of levels, so emergency room trips were reserved for life–threatening cases, and everyone at Angel Investigations knew how to stitch up a cut and wrap a sprain. However, talent varied, and Fred was the most skilled with a needle.
Now Xander was admiring her neat handiwork with a goofy grin, not feeling much pain. Topical anesthetic had been supplemented with a couple of belts of Irish whiskey, standard procedure, but Xander´s mood had less to do with the alcohol than the lingering euphoria of having fought and vanquished an eight–foot Pogaar demon single–handedly.
Not even Wesley´s disapproval had dented his high spirits. Yes, yes, he knew that going out alone on such a call was very definitely against company policy, but he had been alone when the call came, and the Pogaar was on a rampage, endangering lives. Wesley had gone on and grumbled about Xander getting over–confident, Angel´s intensive training in the last weeks did not make him invincible, blah blah blah, but Xander did have the definitive comeback: The Pogaar was dead, no one else was, and he had returned in good time with just a scratch.
Wesley had eventually subsided, leaving Fred to her task, but now he re–entered the room with an almost smug expression as he returned his cell phone to his pocket. “That was Angel checking in. They took care of the nest, and are on their way back. Moving at the speed of light, I would imagine; I mentioned your…ah…adventure, and...”
Oh, yes. Definitely smugness.
“….Angel´s somewhat unhappy.”
Xander made a sound of disgust and glared at Wes. “Thanks a lot, stool pigeon.”
Forget the Pogaar demon; THIS was scary. “You about done there, Fred? I think I want to be on my feet for this.” Even better, upstairs. Maybe under a bed.
“Just a few more.” Xander could hear the amusement in her voice. “I´d be scared too, if I were you. You just might get smooched to death for this.”
Right on cue, Xander blushed from his toes to his ears. His and Angel´s initial attempts to be cool and discreet about their relationship had been spectacularly transparent, and both had come in for their fair share of ribbing about their very obvious passion for each other. And, both pretended half–heartedly to be offended. “Cut the comedy and just finish, willya?” Xander grumped, and Fred snickered as she placed the last stitch and reached for the scissors to cut the thread.
Too late. The front door crashed open and the Dark Avenger himself strode into the lobby, followed by Gunn, who couldn´t seem to decide whether to be amused or exasperated by his boss. Said boss zeroed in on Xander and bore down on him with a penetrating glare that was somewhere between Wrath of God and mother hen. One huge hand curled –kind of, uh, almost too firmly, actually—around the back of Xander´s neck; the other grasped his elbow, steadying the injured arm to look closely at the neatly stitched gash. After a moment, he looked over at Fred, who had beat a hasty retreat, and nodded in approval.
Then his stare flickered back to Xander, raking his eyes quickly up the younger man´s form, just checking, before locking gazes with him. “Are you alright?” Voice very soft, eyes very hard. Uh–oh. Pissed off vampire. And boy, did Angel look a hell of a lot like Angelus right about now.
Xander swallowed and squeaked out an assent, the he–manly vibe from earlier having deserted him with a sudden vengeance. The hand at his elbow moved, the thumb briefly caressing the sensitive skin on the inside of the bend, and Xander relaxed a bit, leaning closer to his lover.
The vampire´s sensitive nostrils twitched as the movement wafted a blast of Xander´s presently rather ripe aroma his way. Although Angel quite liked Xander smell as a rule, especially sweaty Xander smell, the added notes of Pogaar guts and L.A. sewer left a lot to be desired. Angel´s eyes softened and his mouth quirked as he backed away slightly. “Go on up and take a shower,” (Wesley´s muttered “Capital idea!” confirming that Xander´s bouquet was quite apparent to the ordinary human nose as well) “and I´ll be up in a minute.”
The hand on his neck loosened its grip and Xander started to rise, only to be halted in mid move when the hand tightened again suddenly, immobilizing him just long enough for Angel to swoop down and press a kiss to Xander´s temple, just at the hairline. As he did so, his broad chest barely brushed Xander´s shoulder, and Xander felt a tremor pass through the vampire´s big frame. An instant later, Angel had released him and moved away, and Xander fled up the stairs without a backward look.
When Angel entered their bedroom fifteen minutes later, Xander was perched on the side of the bed, one bare foot on the floor, the other leg on the mattress. He was wearing nothing but black silk pajama bottoms; his skin still rosy from a hot shower, his thick dark hair damp and tousled.
He was clumsily trying to wrap his arm one handed, and he gave Angel a brief shot of big brown eyes then turned his attention back to his task, which was clearly getting the best of him. The roll of gauze refused to behave, and Xander´s bottom lip drooped in a forlorn pout as the bandage slipped uselessly down his arm yet again.
Angel knew perfectly well that Xander could bandage his own arm in the dark while being chased and juggling a crossbow – had seen him do it, in fact—but he knelt gravely in front of the boy and brushed his hands away and began to wrap the wounded limb with gentle, efficient movements.
Xander kept his head down, seemingly watching Angel´s hands at work, but when Angel glanced up, he found the boy´s eyes fixed on his face, soft brown eyes, wide and innocent, peeking shyly from beneath shaggy waves. As he looked on, the lush dark lashes swept down and trembled for an instant against rosy cheeks before fluttering back up.
Angel snorted, an inelegant sound that conveyed both amusement and exasperation. “What makes you think that´s actually going to work?”
Xander toyed briefly with the idea of pretending not to know what his lover was talking about, then opted instead to grin disarmingly and bat his eyelashes again, exaggerating the movement outrageously. “´Cause it usually works?”
Angel finished wrapping and tying the bandage, a smile playing around his mouth, then leaned in toward Xander, hands on either side of the younger man´s hips, brushing his ear with cool lips as he murmured softly; “Aye, it´s wrapped around yer finger I am, sweet boy.”
The Irish lilt came as sweet as a kiss from his lover´s lips, and Xander felt himself melt into a little moaning puddle, vividly reminded that Angel had formidable weaponry of his own. He turned his head, inviting a kiss, but Angel had already drawn back, his attention returning to Xander´s arm, where he ran one finger pensively across the warm skin just above the fresh bandage. “Does it hurt?”
“No.” Xander´s attention was still on Angel´s mouth.
“I´m glad. However….” Xander let out a yelp as the vampire surged to his feet, pushed Xander down across the bed, rolled him onto his belly and yanked down his pajama bottoms in one smooth, lightening fast sequence of motion.
“….I can´t help thinking….” Xander lay immobilized by surprise, mouth and eyes wide open, as Angel unbuckled his belt and whipped it from around his waist. “….that a little pain might help set the lesson in that hard head o´ yers.”
Xander had presence of mind enough to bite down hard on the comforter an instant before the belt descended forcefully on his surprised buttocks. He fervently hoped that they were far enough away from the others that they wouldn´t know what was happening, but they were a lot more likely to figure it out if he started screaming like a little girl.
His next thought was that the reintroduction of the soul to the mix hadn´t weakened the vampire´s arm that he could tell. His third more–or–less coherent thought was that he didn´t remember his cock ever getting that hard that fast before.
Half a dozen hard stripes, and Angel dropped the belt and fell across the bed, gathering Xander into a tight embrace and growling against his soft hair. “If you ever endanger yourself like that again, I´ll beat you bloody then chain you to this bed for the rest of your natural life.”
Still a little stunned, and powerfully aroused, Xander heard the residual fear in his lover´s voice and kissed his throat tenderly, contrition making him forget about the throbbing pain in his backside, although the throbbing in his frontside was a little harder to ignore. One thing at a time, though.
“The chained–to–the–bed part actually doesn´t sound too bad, but no more solo demon fighting for Xander.” Kisses along a firm jaw line. “I promise.”
“Thank you.” The vampire sighed then slid himself down the mattress until his head was against Xander´s chest. Closing his eyes, he let himself be comforted by the familiar rhythm of his boy´s heartsound.
Remorseful, Xander wrapped himself around Angel, hands combing through Angel´s silky brown hair, rubbing his neck and back, feeling tension beginning to leave the powerful muscles. “I´m really sorry I scared you.”
“Mmm–hmm.” Angel rubbed his cheek against Xander´s chest.
“I was just feeling kind of full of myself, y´ know?” Xander nuzzled the top of Angel´s head then caught his breath as Angel´s arms tightened suddenly.
“I can´t imagine being without you, you know that don´t you, baby?” Angel´s face lifted to look up into Xander´s. “Love you too much to even think about it. Not yet; it´s too soon.” His expression said that he WAS thinking of it, though, and Xander felt a fresh wave of guilt at the mournful look in his lover´s eyes.
“I´m sorry.” Whispered against Angel´s upraised face this time as Xander tried to kiss the sadness away. Kisses on each furrow on that made–to–brood brow, one on each closed eyelid, across the bridge of that strong nose, scattered across cheekbones and jaw, chin, and – finally – one slow, leisurely kiss on that gorgeous, expressive mouth. Tongue playing across—let me in, please—and again, little licks working out to the corner, which he felt lift in a smile, then back to the center, and Angel´s lips opened to admit Xander´s tongue, and, bingo! Sad Angel is gone, his place taken by Horny Angel, whose messenger is poking insistently at his thigh.
Xander smiled against his lover´s mouth and slid one warm hand down the length of his vampire´s body to cup the hard bulge in Angel´s pants. The vampire moaned softly at the contact and Xander´s own erection, painfully hard since Angel´s foray into discipline, throbbed at the sound. Angel reached to pull his lover into closer contact, but when his hands cupped Xander´s buttocks, the boy hissed sharply and flinched. Instantly, Angel was up on his knees and turning the younger man over onto his stomach.
A sound somewhere between a sympathetic croon and a moan of remorse drifted from Angel´s throat as he examined the abused flesh. Xander started to reassure his lover, but the words died in his throat as his hips were bracketed with big, gentle hands, and cool, careful lips and tongue began to soothe the inflamed skin of Xander´s buttocks with aching tenderness. Long minutes passed as Angel silently delivered his worshipful apology and Xander sighed his pleasure.
At length, Angel parted Xander´s thighs with a light touch and moved from his position on his knees beside the boy to kneel between them before resuming his ministrations. Gradually, his attention shifted from the muscular curves to the separation between them, and his tongue traveled slowly, lightly, from the base of Xander´s spine along the length of the divide to his perineum, not delving deep, just barely pressing into the crevice, announcing his presence like a supplicant begging admission.
Finally, with infinite care, Angel spread his boy wide and pressed a soft, open kiss onto his boy´s anus, suckling the silky flesh then probing the surface of the hole lightly with his tongue until Xander cried out with pleasure. The sound of his boy´s voice found an answer in Angel´s as the big vampire lifted his mouth and murmured his boy´s praises; “my Xander, my boy, so pretty, my own… love your sweet little ass, gonna make you bloom for me, open for me…sweet little bitch” this last was whispered on a purr, directly against the boy´s twitching opening, just before Angel thrust his tongue in.
Xander yelled and bucked, and Angel held his hips up far enough to snake one hand around and under and take hold of the boy´s pulsing erection, stroking it firmly while he slid his tongue in rhythm in and out of the squirming body beneath him.
Xander lay writhing, fists twisting in the bedclothes, moaning and panting until the erotic pressure exploded within him and he came, screaming hoarsely: “AAAAANNGELLLLLLL!”
Xander thought he must have passed out for a little while (and no wonder) because one minute he was coming and screaming like a banshee, and the next instant, the wonderful magic tongue was gone, the covers had been tucked up around him and Angel was lying naked beside him stroking his back and shoulders. Xander was still lying in the same position, face down in the pillow, and now he turned his head just enough to peer at Angel with one unfocused eye.
“Oh. My. God. You almost gave me a heart attack, you with the tongue, you.”
Angel grinned. “Want me to promise never to do it again?”
“NO. No, just…Ummm…No.”
“You wanna move off the wet spot?”
“Nope. I´m fine here. No moving. Maybe if there´s a fire, but I don´t know…”
Angel chuckled softly, fingers carding gently through Xander´s silky hair. “Sleep, my heart.”
Xander felt his eyes drift shut, then, Hey, wait a minute....Did Angel....? He mustered the effort and rolled over onto his side facing the vampire.
Angel´s eyes flickered open as Xander moved, then drifted closed again. Frowning slightly, Xander wriggled his pelvis closer to Angel´s.
When Angel drew back almost imperceptibly, Xander laid a hand on his lover´s ribs and started sliding it slowly south.
A big hand closed around his, brought it up to press a quick kiss on the knuckles then settled it against Angel´s chest and held it there. “I´m fine. Go to sleep.”
“´K. ‘night.” Xander closed his eyes and waited until Angel´s grip relaxed, plucked his hand free, made a quick feint and reached down and ended up with a rock–hard handful of Angel.
Angel´s eyes flew open as he got grabbed, and he found himself nose to nose with a grinning Xander. “HA! Undead liar guy!”
Angel looked sheepish. “You were just so exhausted….”
“So, what? You were just going to lie there and suffer like a big old martyr?” Xander´s expression shifted back and forth between amusement and aggravation. “I know what this is about! I did something admittedly stupid, you lost it and got a little kinky with me, you feel guilty about it, so now you´re sending yourself to bed without dessert? Am I right?”
Angel avoided his eyes; shrugged.
“You twit.” He nipped the end of Angel´s nose. “It turned me on, doofus. If I didn´t like it, I´d have told you.” His hand began stroking Angel´s hard length. “I can, with you, you know. Makes it really nice.” His hand kept up its slow stroking as he moved closer to kiss the vampire tenderly.
“´Cause sometimes I want it like that…” Another soft kiss, and he looked into Angel´s eyes, solemn now, and his free hand came up to caress his lover´s face. “….and sometimes I want it like this.” His voice was a whisper, and Angel was hypnotized by Xander´s soft brown gaze. “I love you, my Angel.”
“Love y´, sweet.” Angel´s hips were moving, thrusting into Xander´s fist. He reached for Xander, found him hard again, took him in hand. They lay kissing, stroking, touching, letting the tension build until arousal demanded greater contact. Xander scrambled with shaking fingers, finally snagging the lube from the table beside the bed, then squeezed some onto his fingers and reached for his lover´s cock. To his surprise, Angel diverted his hand, pushing it back toward Xander´s own erection, guiding Xander´s fingers around it, spreading the lube along its length. Xander met Angel´s eyes in silent questioning.
“I want to feel you inside me.” Angel´s voice was rough silk and Xander gasped at the wave of excitement that slammed into him at the words.
“What? Did you say…I mean…did you say, me, inside you?” Xander stuttered out, awed.
“Yes. I did.”
Xander froze for a long minute, powerfully aroused.
“You, inside me,” Angel whispered.
Realizing, again, that this was one fine carpe to diem, Xander drew a deep breath, then knelt up, scared and shy and not really believing—he had never expected this, but he wanted it, bad—and then he was hesitantly urging Angel up onto elbows and knees.
He stroked one shaking, admiring hand down the length of his lover´s magnificent back, wishing he had more time to savor this experience, but knowing that neither of them would last long. He came to rest with his palm pressing lightly against the base of Angel´s spine. Breathing fast with anticipation and heady arousal, he brought both hands up to spread his lover gently, then ran one lubed fingertip bashfully around the tiny opening before taking a deep breath and easing it in slowly, gasping at the sensation.
“God, you´re so tight.”
“It´s been awhile.”
“Yeah? I thought you and Spike….”
“Shhh…not this. Never. I was his Sire.”
“Oh.” Xander felt absurdly pleased. A warm kiss pressed to one firm buttock, a second finger, stretching, spreading. “I´m not hurting you, am I?”
“No. You won´t.” A gasp and a cry as Xander´s shy, uncertain fingers crooked and found his prostate. “Oh, Gods! Now, please, Xan.”
“You sure you´re ready?”
“Yes…God, so good…now; want you in me, please!” Angel was almost sobbing, and Xander wasted no more time, positioning himself behind his lover and pressing the head of his erection against the yielding flesh.
Xander held his breath as Angel´s body first resisted, then opened to him. He pushed the first few inches in slowly, carefully, then, feeling Angel pressing back eagerly, gripped his hips and slid himself to the hilt into his lover´s welcoming body.
Xander stilled, head thrown back, immobilized with the incredible sensation. He was inside of his Angel, and it was so good, so tight and cool, and different than anything he´d ever known before….With a shuddering groan, he grasped Angel´s hips in a firmer grip, pulled almost all the way out of Angel´s tight passage then thrust forcefully back in.
“YESSS!” Angel urged him on, panting. “That´s it, yes, you feel so good inside me, so hot and hard…Love me, fuck me, Xander. Hard…Harder! God, XANDER!”
Gods, it was SO good…Xander gave in to his desire and began to pound fast and hard into his vampire, scrabbling for purchase with feet and knees, bending low over Angel´s body and driving him rhythmically forward until the vampire stopped their momentum by thrusting his arms out to brace against the bed´s sturdy headboard, which creaked and groaned under the pressure.
They were both wild, Xander gasping and panting as he took his lover with all of his strength and speed, Angel snarling and bucking with the ecstasy of giving in to a long–cherished secret desire. Powered by passion, Xander locked his arms around the vampire´s larger frame and surged upright, drawing his writhing lover up with him, continuing to thrust almost brutally, One arm now clamped around Angel´s ribcage as the other hand fisted his engorged erection, stroking hard in time to his thrusts.
Soon, Xander felt the vampire´s body spasm with the onset of his orgasm. Without thought, acting purely on instinct, he struck like a snake, biting down hard just where Angel´s neck curved up from his shoulder.
The vampire threw back his head and HOWLED, an earsplitting sound that rattled the windows and rang in Xander´s head.
Angel´s body bucked violently, his muscles gripping Xander´s cock almost painfully as his seed fountained over the sheets and Xander´s hand, and the boy came with him, filling his lover´s body with liquid heat for the very first time, his own scream muffled against Angel´s flesh.
Below in the lobby, four pairs of wide, startled eyes met as the unearthly sound suddenly filled the air. Wesley froze, Cordelia half–rose as though to run, Fred shrieked, and Gunn reached quickly for a weapon.
After a beat, Wesley relaxed and half–smiled, then, returning his attention to his book, remarked calmly, “I believe that Xander has now been forgiven.”
Gunn grinned and replaced the axe he had seized. Fred´s hands crept up to cover her cheeks as understanding dawned and she blushed scarlet. Cordy frowned, momentarily confused, then; “Eeeeuuuwww!”
