Nexus Chapter 2
Five Years Earlier,
Sunnydale
No doubt about it, there was a Patsy Cline CD at home with his name on it. No hurry, though. Xander Harris, the butt of all cosmic jokes, slowed his pace even further and meandered off-track to viciously kick at a can lying in the gutter. It went foul, rebounded off the curb and clunked back into roughly the same position. Lameness, thy name is Xander.
Buffy hadn’t wanted him to leave the Bronze alone. Fuck Buffy. Her and her concern that Xander’s total and unrelenting inadequacy would get him killed. Oh, wait, DON’T fuck Buffy; Angel did that, and look where it got him! And again with the Angel fucking Buffy motif. Is that all anyone can think about? Xander jammed his hands into the pockets of his baggy jeans, hunching his shoulders a little further. The part of him that was constantly pissed to the point of craziness took a little break, allowing the larger part of him that was annoyingly fair, loyal and honest to take over. Which made him feel worse.
None of it was her fault, after all. She had no way of knowing what was going to come of her fatal tryst with Angel, and she was bearing the worst of the horror that was Angelus. Her concern about his wandering the streets of Sunnydale on his own was legitimate; the dangers of the Hellmouth were bad enough any time, but with Psycho Boy on the loose, the Scoobies were marked for danger.
All the same, here he was, taking a leisurely late stroll through Sunnydale’s back streets like an open invitation. With a strange sense of detachment, he wondered if this could be considered a suicide bid.
Xander’s mind returned to the rest of the Scooby gang, still at the Bronze, where fun was not being had by all, in spite of every effort to the contrary. Kind of hard to whoop it up when you’re in the middle of a nightmare, thought Xander bleakly. And what if he never did make it home? His imagination stuttered quickly over a distressing vision of Willow’s grief and came to rest on an image of a stricken Buffy trying to take in one more tragic result of her hot date with Angel.
Guess you kind of take a chance when you pick an undead creature of the night for a significant other. Xander winced at his thoughts, then again kicked the empty can viciously. That was the exactly the kind of snotty remark he had been making to Buffy for months. Now that the worst had happened, he sure looked like some kind of genius. Oh, yeah. I’m a real smart guy. Jeez, I hate my life.
Xander had been vocal about his dislike and mistrust of Angel from the beginning, and he knew that the sullen mood that had lately quenched his usual sunny doofiness was being interpreted as condemnation and reproach by a friend who was already beating herself up mercilessly.
Xander didn’t much like the part of himself that was indifferent to Buffy’s pain, but, truth of the matter was, Alexander LaVelle Harris, punching bag to the universe, was pretty much preoccupied with his own private hell. Didn’t much feel like revealing himself to his friends as a big fat lying hypocrite on top of everything else.
He could just imagine the scene: “Hey, Buff, you know all that stuff I said about what a bad idea it was to fall in love with vampires? And how I hated Angel? All a big crock of bullshit. Just so you know. The whole time I was giving you a hard time, I was spending every night fantasizing about crawling naked into his bed. Pretty funny, huh?”
Ha, ha.
For about the millionth time, Xander replayed the whole sequence of events in his head. Here he was, minding his own business, having a perfectly normal textbook teen-age crush on an unattainable ideal girl. And what a girl! A beautiful blonde California dream of a girl who called him a friend and would never look at him romantically if they both lived forever.
Of course, the object of his affections was a superpowered superhero who could easily kick his ass without breaking a sweat, but, hey, whadya gonna do, it’s the Hellmouth! Otherwise, just an all-American, angsty, run-of-the-mill, rite-of-passage crush. Authentic in every detail, right down to the mysterious older boyfriend whose primary function apparently was to make a guy feel even more hopeless about his chances and provide fuel for countless future sessions with a therapist.
So he followed Buffy around like a big clumsy puppy and tried every way he could think of to get her attention and made a fool of himself on a regular basis and just generally acted like high school losers are supposed to and everything went just the way it was supposed to.
Until.
Like a person who can’t resist poking at a sore tooth with his tongue, Xander went back over the whole thing, once again marveling at his inability to interpret his own feelings, to understand his own desires.
Xander had been helplessly, resentfully watching Buffy fall in love with this mysterious guy for weeks before he finally actually laid eyes on Mr. Undead Perfect. The night Willow pointed Angel to him the Bronze, he interpreted the wave of knee-weakening emotion that washed over him as jealous despair (Jesus, what a clueless idiot.) He was so beautiful, tall and strong and physically perfect. Buffy was beside him, and Xander’s eyes were riveted to her tiny hand resting on the broad expanse of Angel’s chest.
After that, Angel began to be around often, and Xander was skittish and on edge in his presence, cutting in his remarks, pretending not to see the shadow of hurt in the vampire’s gentle, dark eyes. Even when Angel wasn’t around, Xander couldn’t look at Buffy without imagining them together, naked, the big vampire wrapped around her, his pale and perfect skin, strong, broad shoulders and deep chest, large hands and long legs, sweet unsmiling mouth….
Self-knowledge came suddenly late one night behind his locked bedroom door. Xander had again watched them at the Bronze, seen Angel steal a kiss, swooping and striking like a hawk, to be willingly rewarded with a second, longer kiss by the small laughing girl.
Later, at home, he took himself in hand in the way of teenage boys everywhere, and imagined Buffy in his mind’s eye; Buffy smiling, Buffy taking off her clothes, Buffy naked and moaning under a cold, strong, pale, body. Powerfully aroused, Xander let his mind wander; his libido took over from his conscious mind, supplying its own scenario, and Xander came intensely, violently, choking back a scream of pleasure.
Afterward, he lay wide-eyed, his post-orgasmic glow stolen by wave after wave of panic, the unbidden image that was the source of the most intense orgasm of his life branded on his mind’s eye. It wasn’t him, Xander, with Buffy. Nope. Buffy was, distressingly, nowhere around. It was him with Angel, under Angel, moaning and writhing against the vampire’s body. Even as he recoiled from the thought, his cock rose and hardened again, controlled by a terrifying, inescapable desire.
After that night, Xander descended into a welter of frightened confusion. Terrified that the others would discover the secret whose nature he couldn’t understand, he expressed his loathing for the vampire at every opportunity, to anyone that would listen. Soon, the vampire made it clear that the dislike was mutual. But always, constantly, thoughts of Angel haunted him.
He fought guiltily against a sickening, growing envy of Buffy, an envy that made him alternately give her a hard time, then scramble to return to his role as her devoted, girlcrazy, lovelorn slave, a role that had now become a safe haven.
Xander hated himself (more than usual) for the way he was acting; dishonesty was fundamentally alien to his nature. But, on the other hand, he couldn’t think of anything more cringeworthy than having anyone else discover his true feelings; would they laugh, or pity him? Poor, pathetic undesired Xander, bouncing from crush to crush, hoping to hit on someone (something) that might, just, want him a little.
A few days before Buffy’s fateful seventeenth birthday, Xander had betrayed himself to the one person he most didn’t want to. He and Giles happened to be out patrolling with Buffy and Angel, a rare occurrence. There was a lot of activity that night, but it was easy stuff, just fledglings.
Giles and Buffy had wandered away, Giles explaining some arcane point, Buffy dividing her attention between his impromptu lecture and the occasional vampire. Xander and Angel were left to each other, both maintaining a careful distance and a dogged silence.
Couple of times a vampire came their way and Angel dispatched it neatly before Xander could do more than register its presence. Angel in action was breathtaking, graceful, quick and deadly, and Xander was glad of the baggy clothing that hid his arousal, an arousal that grew every time Xander glanced at the big vampire or heard the sound of his voice.
Suddenly, there was a movement in the tree directly over their heads; something big was moving through the branches. Instinctively, Angel flung himself forward, knocking Xander down and covering the mortal’s body protectively with his own, his hands forgotten on the boy’s shoulders as he gazed up, trying to gauge the threat. His body relaxed slightly and a rare smile ghosted over his expressive mouth as a large owl erupted suddenly from the foliage above them.
“Are you alright?” The vampire had turned his attention to Xander and was looking at him with unfathomable eyes. Xander found himself uncharacteristically bereft of speech by the sheer nearness of the vampire. No, actually, I’ve apparently lost the abilities of speech and breathing, but thanks for asking, Mr. Sexy Vampire Who Smells Damn Good. Just lie right where you are for an hour or so, and I’ll be just dandy. The cool body coving his was hard and heavy and felt better than anything Xander had ever felt in his entire life.
Angel’s eyes were boring darkly into his, and the vampire’s mouth was slightly open, showing the edges of perfect white bottom teeth. Transfixed, Xander imagined tasting them with his tongue, groaned softly and lost control for one fatal moment. Wanting more of the sweet pressure on his body, he arched his hips upward for one unforgivable second, clearly betraying his arousal. Angel froze for an endless moment, then surged to his feet and offered Xander a hand up, his face carefully impassive. “We better find the others.”
They covered the distance separating them from Buffy and Giles in unrelieved silence, while Xander inwardly writhed in an uncomfortable, but increasingly familiar, blend of excitement and shame. Angel knew his secret now. Oh, God. Would he talk to Buffy? They seemed to discuss everything.
Yet, maybe he wouldn’t tell, because Xander could have sworn—surely he hadn’t imagined it? He was almost certain that, just for an instant, when Xander had pressed his erection against the vampire, Angel had pressed back. Xander’s whole body throbbed as he relived that fleeting pressure again and again all the way home, glad when he was once again behind his locked bedroom door.
That was the last time he saw Angel until a few days after Buffy’s disastrous birthday, when they had encountered him at the high school. And Xander had known. Before Ms. Callender had spoken up, deep in his gut, Xander had known that there was something wrong. Willow hadn’t sensed it with her Witch-senses, Buffy had only known when she had experienced the vampire’s new cruelty, but Xander had known.
He had retreated into a moody silence while he dealt with his own turbulent feelings; his pain and grief at the news about Angelus, and his sordid, tormenting jealousy when the whole story of Buffy and Angel’s final tryst came out. He thought he couldn’t possibly feel any worse, until he met Angelus the second time.
He and Buffy and Willow had been out patrolling when Angelus loomed darkly up out of the mist, so like Angel in power and grace and beauty, but wearing a leering mask of cruelty.
The change was palpable even before the vampire spoke; every line of body and face radiated danger, viciousness. Armed with all that Angel knew about each of them, he greeted them each with an exquisite understanding of individual weaknesses.
Buffy moved protectively in front of her friends, assuming a fighting stance, stake at the ready. Angelus ran a scathing look over the girl. “Buff, I’m flattered, really, but…” he made a grimace of mock regret. “I’m gonna have to say ‘no, thanks.’” He leaned forward, his voice dropping into mock intimacy. “Come back when you’ve developed your…ah, skills…a bit. You know, when you’re a little more worth my time.”
Beside her, Willow winced, Angelus’ implication crystal clear. This drew his attention, and he smiled evilly at the timid redhead.
“Hello again, little mouse.” He took a step closer, ignoring Buffy. “You know, we never really have gotten to know one another. We must remedy that someday very soon. I bet I could make you squeak, little mouse.” Terrified, Willow shrank back, and Xander stepped forward, putting his body between his friend and their tormentor.
“Aha!” The tone was soft, taunting, a ghost of Irish brogue now clinging to the speech, setting vicious words to haunting music. “Brave boy! Offering yourself in her place, are y’ now? Willingly? Almost, dare I say…eagerly?” He came closer, and Buffy made a move. Effortlessly, Angelus flung her aside and stood toe to toe with Xander, looming over him. “You I would make scream.”
Determined to salvage some of his pride, Xander forced himself to stand tall, meeting the dark eyes without flinching. The vampire leaned close, and Xander could scent him, Angel’s clean, spicy essence touched with blood and leather, and Eeuww! he was also BEING scented; the vampire’s nostrils flared and he leaned even closer until Xander could actually feel air moving as Angelus made a soft, canine snuffling sound close to his neck. Distracted by his frantic efforts both to hold his ground and convince himself that he wasn’t turned on by the attention, Xander heard rather than saw the vampire shimmer briefly in and out of gameface.
“You ARE a brave boy.” The vampire almost purred, sounding weirdly pleased. Xander was pretty sure that it was actually more paralyzing terror than courage that was holding him in place at the moment, but, still, not running screaming was of the good, and the act was apparently better than he thought.
“When the time comes for me to murder your little friends, perhaps I’ll keep you with me for a while, my courageous little boy. I’ll make you scream, and scream for more.” Buffy, dazed from Angelus’ blow, was drawing close again, and the vampire lashed out, knocking her effortlessly into a nearby tombstone without taking his eyes from Xander.
“If you’re a very good boy, and do exactly as you’re told, perhaps…” Xander caught his breath as the sneer disappeared and the vampire’s face took on a look of gentle gravity. One large hand came up to touch Xander’s cheek tenderly. “…I’ll even pretend to be Angel for you.”
Suddenly, Angelus caught Xander’s shoulders and yanked him close. The boy felt a large hand move down to squeeze his painfully hard erection as the vampire’s voice sank, thank God, into a soft whisper delivered into Xander’s ear “Although I don’t need to pretend, do I?”
The seductive voice dropped further until it was an almost inaudible rumble against Xander’s skin. “You’re so hard for me…..”
A soft flick of a cool tongue, then the vampire flung Xander away, turned on his heel and disappeared into the night, mocking them with his laughter as he went. Xander fervently prayed that the last comments had gone unheard by Buffy and Willow, and that the position of Angelus’ body and the darkness of the night had hidden that final, humiliating touch.
He turned to find Willow helping Buffy to her feet. Both girls were looking at him, confusion in their eyes. “Xander, are you okay? What was he saying to you?”
Xander scrambled to deflect their questions, looking as confused as they and shrugging. “Just making sure I know what a sick puppy he is. You know, ‘Blah, blah blah, kill you all, blah blah, horrible death, blah blah, bathe in your blood – y ’know, the usual.”
Willow shuddered, and Xander draped a comforting arm around her slender shoulders and turned to the other girl. “Buffy, you alright? Nothin’ shook loose?”
Buffy squared her shoulders. “Just ducky.” Xander put his free arm around the blonde and steered both girls toward the entrance to the cemetery. “Whaddya say we get out of here without waiting to see if Psycho Boy does two shows a night?”
“I’m with you.” Willow’s agreement was heartfelt. Buffy nodded, walking in silence until they got to Giles’ house, where they agreed that no one should go out alone at night until they found a solution to the Angelus problem.
At the time, Xander had privately thought he might never go out again, at all. Ever. Encountering Angelus was creepy and frightening enough without having to face your own insane reactions. Xander had gotten hard as soon as Angelus appeared before them. And that was the scariest part of all.
Now, weeks later, with the threat of Angelus still hanging over their heads, they had known that an evening at the Bronze was a futile gesture, but they had made it gallantly, going through the motions of having fun.
Xander felt like a coward for ducking out early, but the noise and crowd had made him claustrophobic, so here he was wandering aimlessly in the dark, breaking the safety rules, mooning not just over his friend’s undead boyfriend, but, even worse, undead boyfriend’s murderous alter ego. Sick and pathetic much, asshole? At least there was one upside, Xander thought blackly. What with all the other pertinent issues—wanting to steal his friend’s lover, his apparent preference for the walking dead, and his rampant sexual attraction to someone who wanted to hurt/maim/kill him—a little confusion over sexual orientation hardly seemed like much of an issue.
“Xander.”
Sweet merciful Mother of Pearl! As though conjured up by his thoughts, Angelus stood six feet away, half-hidden in the shadows of a narrow alley. Xander backed away quickly, producing a stake from his sleeve.
“Xander, it’s me…Angel.” Xander lowered the stake infinitesimally, squinting suspiciously at the vampire. The voice was soft, the handsome face shadowed with grief and remorse, hands raised, palms forward.
“A-angel?” Xander felt a sharp, bittersweet pain as hope blossomed right about where his heart was.
“Yeah. It’s me.”
Xander gave himself a shake, then spoke through gritted teeth. “Oh yeah? Prove it.”
Angel shrugged, at a loss. “I...I…can’t. I just woke up today, and I was…back.” He looked defeated. “I could understand if you never trusted me again.”
Xander sighed with relief and hid the stake, also hiding the urge to throw himself into Angel’s arms and cry like a little girl. “Look, buddy, I’m not the one you have to worry about. She’s at the Bronze, but I’d move with caution if I were you. You are—Angelus, I mean, is on her last nerve, and she might stake first and ask questions later.
Angel closed his eyes, pained. “I’ll see Buffy later.” With that rather surprising dismissal, he took a deep, unneeded breath, then: “I was looking for you, Xander.”
“And why would that be?” Unconsciously, Xander had moved closer.
The vampire hesitated, then stared down at the ground between their feet. When he spoke, his voice was so soft that Xander had to move still closer to hear. “Because I don’t know if I’m going to stay this way, or how much time I have, and I don’t want to waste it…I mean…I keep thinking about you.”
Xander couldn’t have been more stunned if Angel had hauled off and hit him with a brick, so he just stood there, dazed and shocked speechless, as if, well, as if he had been hit with a brick. The vampire stood head down, peeking up at him from under those manly broody eyebrows, while the moment stretched out, seemingly to infinity.
Finally, Angel added, uncertainty in his voice. “I know that we haven’t really been friendly, but I got the idea, I mean, I thought, maybe, that you…you know…felt the same.”
Xander, still too bricksmacked to get words out, just stood there until Angel sighed and backed away, his broad shoulders drooping a little.
“Look, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable; I guess I misunderstood….”
Whatever else Angel was about to say fell on deaf ears. Xander, having suddenly realized that this was a damn fine diem to carpe, had thrust all doubts firmly aside and closed the distance between his face and Angel’s without further ado.
Angel (who supposedly had no breath) made a sound very like a gasp as Xander’s hands cupped his face and Xander’s mouth pressed against his, hot to cold; he stood stock still for about two seconds, then groaned softly and wrapped his arms around Xander, giving Xander a glorious head-to-toe experience of hard-bodied, trembling vampire.
A spark caught and blossomed into raging heat, stunning the teenager with its erotic power. Xander made a little whimpering sound and wiggled closer, snaking his arms up around Angel’s neck, burrowing greedily into the vampire’s enveloping embrace, wanting more. His tongue found Angel’s amazingly soft lips, tasting them first hesitantly, then aggressively until they opened to him. He groaned as he thrust into the vampire’s deliciously cool mouth, then retreated coyly when Angel gave chase with his own tongue.
Wow. He’d kissed a lot of girls since he first played spin-the-bottle at Martha Zimmerman’s birthday party in sixth grade – well, okay, not a lot, but some—and nothing he had ever done or imagined compared to kissing Angel.
Xander gasped into the vampire’s mouth as the reality hit him. Oh, God, I’m kissing Angel, and his arms are around me and he tastes so good ohgodohgodAngellll…. Xander’s mounting desire kicked into overdrive. Angel groaned approvingly at the thickening scent of arousal and reacted by completely taking over control of the kiss, tightening his embrace, bending Xander to his will, bowing his head to deepen the kiss until the boy whimpered under his plundering mouth.
Breathless under the intensity of the vampire’s onslaught, Xander gave over all thought, all choice, and let himself be lost in Angel, Angel’s smell and taste and the feel of his skin and hair. He had no awareness of being maneuvered further into the alley and turned so that his back was pressed against the wall until Angel ground his pelvis against Xander’s, letting the boy feel the his formidable erection. Xander, although never embarrassed in the locker room himself, moaned helplessly at what he could feel of the vampire’s dimensions.
His hand nearly itched with temptation, and Angel seemed to know, because he reached behind him to latch onto Xander’s wrist and guide his around to the front of his leather pants. Angel groaned into the kiss as Xander’s fingers traced the outline of the vampire’s cock through the smooth leather, and Xander felt his own erection harden painfully.
Angel found the hem of Xander’s t-shirt and smoothed his hands up the boy’s warm torso, bunching the soft cotton up under his arms. Bending at waist and knees, the tall vampire latched onto the boy’s right nipple with icy lips. Xander, who had never thought much about the erotic possibilities of men’s nipples, cried out in the grip of the most powerful excitement he had ever known as the vampire nipped and sucked at the sensitive nub of flesh before transferring his attentions to its twin.
The small part of Xander’s mind that still worked was immediately, burningly curious to see how Angel would react to the same stimulation. One hand still pressed hard against the massive bulge at the vampire’s crotch, Xander’s free hand found its way under Angel’s shirt and blissfully explored the cool silk of the vampire’s torso, glorying in his new-found power as the sensitive flesh rippled and twitched under his eager touch. His other hand moved up, away from the thrusting heaviness between the vampire’s legs; Angel growled softly at the loss, and Xander chuckled breathlessly, bringing both eager hands around to trace the hard muscles of Angel’s stomach, then up to the vampire’s nipples, where fingertips touched, rubbed, grew bolder, pinched lightly, then harder.
Groaning, the vampire moved back up to reclaim Xander’s swollen lips in a long, torrid kiss, then kissed his way across Xander’s jaw to nip and suck gently at the sensitive skin below his ear before drawing his earlobe gently between careful, teasing blunt teeth.
Xander, not to be sidetracked from his current goal, reclaimed some control over events by pushing lightly against the vampire. Angel reacted to the interference with a soft growl, but obliged by allowing some space between them. Too impatient to deal with buttons, Xander jerked Angel’s shirt up to bare his chest, holding the fabric fisted against the taller man’s collarbones while he looked his fill. The vampire’s chest, much broader than his own, was as pale and smooth as marble. In sharp contrast, the nipples were a lush wine-red. At the sight of them, Xander made a soft admiring sound and swooped hungrily, latching on and suckling greedily on first one, then the other. His fists twisted in the silk of Angel’s shirt and he sucked harder, adding the hint of teeth, glorying in the rough, wordless sounds that he was forcing from the vampire’s throat.
Finally Xander reluctantly lifted his mouth from Angel’s now swollen nipples and released the vampire’s shirt, letting his hands roam back around the vampire’s torso to pull him close again.
Immediately, the vampire leaned in, taking back ownership of Xander’s mouth with his own, forearms braced against the brick at Xander’s shoulders, hips grinding hard against Xander’s own mindless thrusts. When Xander’s knees gave out completely and only the pressure of Angel’s lower body held him up, the vampire lifted his face to look into Xander’s eyes, his grave, gentle eyes shadowed with desire. When he spoke, his voice was low and achingly tender, in stark contrast with the rough pressure of his pelvis.
“Xander, if you knew how many times I’ve thought of doing this with you….”
The seductive mouth nuzzled under his jaw and Xander’s chin shot skyward, unthinkingly offering access to his throat as he struggled to get words out. “Me too. Didn’t ever think you’d want to, though.”
Secretly exulting at the complete submission implied in the boy s unconscious gesture, Angel pressed hungry open-mouthed kisses up the exposed neck and along the raised jaw line, murmuring softly in Xander’s ear--“You don’t even know how beautiful you are, do you?”--before reclaiming the soft lips. When he finally broke the kiss, Xander was a boneless bundle of ecstasy, and Angel smiled as he gently eased the boy to his knees.
Drunk with pleasure, Xander nearly purred as the vampire stroked his face hypnotically with one hand. He heard the sounds of metal and leather and opened his eyes to see the vampire’s other hand at eye level, opening those obscenely tight pants and freeing his cock.
Xander’s eyes widened at the first sight of Angel’s thick uncircumcised length as the vampire pumped it a time or two. The vampire’s soft urging, rendered sibilant by the fangs that Angel could no longer suppress –“Yessss, look at it, that’s it…Ssssweet Xxxander”—was hardly necessary. Xander was hypnotized by the vampire’s splendor.
Then Angel’s fingers were tightening slightly in Xander’s hair, gently but insistently urging him forward, the other hand holding his cock steady until the blunt head was pressing wetly against the boy’s eager, kiss-swollen mouth.
Xander, completely untutored, could only follow desire and instinct and what he knew of his own pleasures. So he took Angel in both hands--gently batting Angel’s hand away--and tentatively kissed the head, tasting the moisture beaded there, almost unaware of the vampire’s powerful fingers twining in his hair, barely hearing Angel’s muttered encouragement, falling instantly under the thrall of the vampire’s taste and smell. Oh, Gods, yes, the smell of him. Xander suddenly had to taste him, smell him…right…there, gods, yes….Xander took one long lick down the underside of the shaft from the head to the root and used the opportunity to bury his nose into the musky richness of wiry curls, pressing and swirling his tongue into the shadowed mystery where cock met velvety scrotum. Vampire and boy groaned in unison at the intimacy; Xander wondered hazily why he had never realized before how badly he wanted--needed--to taste Angel in that exact spot. He brought his mouth back to the head, wanting to lick again at the precome gathered there, suddenly greedy for all of Angel’s flavors. He slid one hand up and down the thick shaft, getting used to the feel of the foreskin, while the other moved down to cup and caress Angel’s heavy balls.
Then, at last, Xander opened his mouth and took Angel in, stretching his jaws wide to accommodate him. It felt strange, but, Gods, so right! Cold, and big and hard and tasting like heaven. When an inner voice whispered to him, You’re down on your knees sucking cock in an alley! Vampire cock! You’re sucking Angel’s cock! he felt not shame, but a thrill of excitement. He imagined what they would look like to a passerby, him on his knees, head bobbing eagerly at Angel’s groin, the vampire half bowed over him, muttering encouragement, guiding hands fisted in his hair. His own cock pressed that much harder against his zipper, and an image of Angel on his knees returning this favor flashed through his mind, almost overloading his senses.
Xander trembled, lost in what he was doing, working his tongue hard against the sensitive underside of the shaft before sliding his mouth down as far as it would go and sucking as hard as he was able. He was only able to get about halfway down the heavy column without choking, so he kept up a steady, firm stroking with his hand on the base while he licked and sucked the top several inches.
Despite his lack of experience, he seemed to be doing alright, judging from the moans and murmured praise drifting down from above him. At the sound, Xander reached down and unzipped his jeans, taking out his own painfully swollen shaft. Immediately, Angel’s fingers tightened almost painfully in Xander’s hair.
“Would you cheat me of the pleasure, sweet boy?” the vampire’s voice was a choked groan, and Gods, there it was, that tiny hint of Irish that crept in every now and then. “That’s mine; save it for me.”
Xander shivered at the masterful tone and obediently returned both hands to Angel’s flesh, rubbing and caressing as he sucked, instinctively finding the rhythm that would bring his lover to completion. Xander was caressing the vampire’s balls with one hand and felt them draw up, signaling his impending orgasm.
Xander wondered if he were expected to swallow Angel’s come, then decided that he very much wanted to, an instant before Angel made the choice for him. Groaning, the vampire tightened his hands and held Xander’s head immobile while he pumped his cold semen into the boy’s warm mouth. Xander swallowed greedily, then gentled his motions but kept sucking and licking lightly until he felt the flesh begin to soften. He sighed softly, feeling bereft, as Angel withdrew from him and zipped up. Then he was being lifted to his feet and pushed back against the wall and thoroughly kissed.
As quickly as dream turns to nightmare, the mouth on his turned brutal, biting at him, punishing him. Xander cried out against the sudden assault and pushed at the body against, him, twisting his head away. He heard mocking laughter a split second before he opened his eyes and found that Angel had disappeared like a smoke illusion, and that he was being pressed against an alley wall by a sneering Angelus.
“And they say I’m morally challenged! Jeez, what a slut! Your loyalty to your precious slayer evaporated pretty damn fast when Angel waved his dick your way, didn’t it, you little whore?”
Xander struggled briefly and uselessly against the vampire, who continued to pin him easily, laughing. Then Xander went perfectly still, now almost as pale as a vampire himself.
“What have I done?” he whispered brokenly, eyes haunted.
Angelus threw back his head and laughed. “I love you kids! As long as Angel’s hanging around you Scoobies, he’ll never have the upper hand for long. One of you brats can be counted on to talk your way into his pants, then wham, bam, here I am!”
Angelus sing-songed this last phrase softly into Xander’s ear, nuzzling it playfully. Xander jerked away from him, sobbing, and tried again to escape the cage of Angelus’ embrace against the unyielding brick wall.
Suddenly the voice gentled unnervingly and the cool lips were kissing the tears away. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sweet, I shouldn’t tease you like that.” For a crazy instant, Xander completely lost track of which version of the vampire was pressing against him. His body didn’t seem to care; the hard-on he had been sporting since the first moment he felt Angel’s lips on his had wilted only slightly and was now, incredibly, staging a full comeback.
No doubt due in part to the soft little kisses currently playing up and down his jawline. “Didn’t I promise I’d be Angel for you?” Now one hand snaked down Xander’s body and wrapped firmly around his cock. “But I’m thinking I also told you that you only get to come for me.”
Comprehension dawned on Xander’s face, closely followed by fury and a renewed attempt to strike out, to get free. “You sick bastard!”
“Now he gets it! Yes, boy, you’ve been played….Ah, ah, ah,! Temper, little man! You’ve got lots to learn.” Enjoying himself immensely, the vampire leaned harder against the struggling teen and chuckled. “Lesson one: Don’t ever try to start a fight with a man who’s got hold of your dick.” With that, he gradually tightened his hold on the hard member in his hand until the boy gasped and went completely still.
“Lesson two:” He looked deeply, intensely, into Xander’s eyes. “Angel. Doesn’t. Want. You.” He smiled grimly as the boy’s eyes slammed shut and he swallowed, hard. “Much as I hate to ruin your fantasy about giving my better half that moment of perfect happiness, Angel wouldn’t fuck you to save his soul, let alone risk losing it.” More tears. Good. He resumed stroking the boy’s erection, which hadn’t flagged.
“However, I, as we have seen, am not nearly so picky. So, anytime someone that looks a lot like sweet old Angel invites you to drop and open wide, it’s me, just like it was me that you sucked off on your knees just now. And…” The cruel, tender mouth was back at his ear now, whispering, kissing, nuzzling. “may I just say, that your enthusiasm almost compensates for your lack of skill. Hell, if I’d known you were that eager to suck cock, I would have saved myself all the trouble and just flashed you a twenty.”
Shamed to his soul, Xander squeezed his eyes shut as tears streamed down his face. “You son of a bitch!” He struggled wildly against the powerful vampire. “Let me go, you fucker.”
“Fucker, is it now? Is that wishful thinking, boy? Now that you’ve had a taste of me, do you want more?” The vampire was hissing into Xander’s ear now, stroking the boy hard, expertly. “Want me to be your fucker? Want me to fuck your hot little cherry ass? Ride you ‘til you scream, open you up good for the next lad in line?” Angelus chuckled as his words made the boy thrust hard into his fist. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you, bitch?”
Xander turned his head away, sick with humiliation but unable to resist the vampire’s knowing touch. “Tell the truth, sweet boy,” His tone was intimate, confiding. “You can tell your old uncle Angelus. What was it that did it for you? Was it me talking about shoving my cock up your tight little ass, or was it my mention of the next lad in line? Cause I’ll tell you, if your maiden voyage as a cocksucker is anything to go on, your dance card is going to be full.”
“I hate you.”
“That’s not what little Xander here says, sweet boy.” Cool fingers stopped in their rhythm just long enough to rub lightly over the sensitized head, wringing a whimper from the boy. “All this time we thought you were good for nothing, but we might have found your calling after all; a guy could probably make a comfortable living pimping out your hot little mouth and ass. What do you say, boy? Shall we go into business together?”
The vampire seemed to think the idea over before bursting into sardonic laughter. “Now you didn’t think I was serious, did you?” He gave Xander’s cock a friendly squeeze. “You know I would never share you when I could have you as my own private little cocksucker. Think you’ll like that? Being my personal fucktoy?” Suddenly the pretense of good humor was gone, and the vampire was deadly serious, his voice lashing out with a thin edge of murderous rage. “Listen, boy, and remember. You belong to me, and no one else. Not any of your little girlfriends, not any boyfriends, either.”
The vampire’s stroking quickened and intensified, and he held Xander’s eyes with his, stare icily menacing, and Xander was hypnotized, unable to look away. “And if I ever think that you’re thinking about HIM, I’ll take a whip to that sweet ass of yours until you can’t move. You’re going to come for me, not him. You’re going to come looking Angelus in the eye, and you’re going to come knowing that I’m the one doing it to you.”
Xander writhed and moaned, struggling against the inexorable conclusion of the vampire’s assault as the monster continued to whisper his poisonous, thrilling taunts into his ear.
“Aye, boy. I’m the one you just sucked off on your knees. I’m the one whose cock you’ll remember tasting in your mouth every day for the rest of your life, and I’m the one that’s going to bend you over someday very soon and fuck you until you call me master and beg me never to leave you.”
With these words, Xander cried out helplessly and Angelus stepped to the side to avoid being splashed as the boy exploded into climax. The vampire continued to jack the boy until he was spent, holding him up with his other forearm pressed across Xander’s chest just under the collarbones. When he finally released the boy’s penis, he held up his hand, dripping with Xander’s semen, looked at it, and brought it to his mouth with clinical curiosity.
“You are a sweet boy. Here. Taste.” Xander ignored the hand held near his mouth and glared at Angelus, who laughed and rubbed his fingertips across Xander’s bruised lips, leaving a smear of come, then wiped his hand on the front of Xander’s T-shirt.
Xander, panting, scrubbed at his mouth then tucked himself away and zipped up with shaking hands, feeling like he’d never be clean again.
“Aren’t you going to thank me?”
“No, but I AM going to hate you until the day I die.”
Angelus leaned in until he was nose to nose with Xander. “Boy, I believe I’ll take that as a challenge.” With that, he drew back his fist, and Xander’s world exploded in fireworks, then went black.
