But I Love You 16 – 19
21 Wednesday 2001
5.32 pm
"I can´t fucking believe it! Can you?"
Pacing up and down, the tall brunette was gesturing madly to the smaller blond who was nestled into the couch. Head shaken at the question, Spike sat quietly as his Claimant rode out his anger.
"I mean, after all the complaints about him you would think that they wouldn´t renew his contract again, but apparently there isn´t enough people employed by the company for them to let go of such a, and I quote, ´valuable and experienced staff member´."
A resounding snort ricocheted around the room as the blond vampire realised just what he was hearing. Stan, the troublemaker of Xander´s work crew, was staying. His contract had just been renewed for another two years, which meant the brunette would be coming home in a bad mood at least once a week. Even after the younger man had laid into Stan at Mac´s party, the older Alaskan still baited Xander, making homophobic comments at every opportunity.
Since coming out, Xander had been somewhat supported by his workmates. As long as the brunette didn´t get any ideas about touching one of them, then they were pretty much alright about it. Stan, however, continued to try and get a few of the more narrow–minded ones to stir up some trouble with the youth, Mac and Josesse putting a stop to any trouble straight away. Unfortunately, that only led to Stan commenting about Xander being favoured by the crew boss, creating even more tension between the two men.
Spike hoped that the angrily pacing youth would continue to try and ignore the comments that were directed daily towards him.
"And you know what? That fuckhead had the nerve to come up to me and tell me that because I had been *blowing* both Mac and Josesse, I couldn´t have been that good because he was still staying. Apparently, my *Master Plan* of getting him fired by sucking up to the boss hadn´t worked."
~ Bloody fuck! I´m with you Pet. Wish I had this sodding chip out, the prick wouldn´t be a problem then. Few hours torture and things would be fine again ~
The vampire rubbed at his tingling scalp as the chip reacted to his thoughts. Not much pain, just a sharp slap above both ears, slowly disintegrating into a dull throbbing. It would go away in a few minutes, just one of the usual warnings from the chip. A deep purring echoed from the sleepy kitten curled up into his lap, Spike gently tweaking her whiskers.
"I don´t think I can cope with another two years of him constantly hounding me. When my contract is up, I´m gonna seriously think about transferring to Anchorage or right down to Juneau."
Hand freezing in mid tweak, the smaller male was stunned as Xander flopped down onto the couch beside him, a warm hand resting upon his cooler thigh next to Twatcat.
~ But I don´t want to move...I mean, it´s Alaska, and it´s always going to be a backwater interbred wanker State, but for the first time since this bloody chip and the crypt incident, I´ve got some sort of life ~
"S.u.r.e..p.e.t"
Rewarded with a deep, hot kiss, Spike moaned into his claimant´s mouth as a protesting feline was pushed off his lap. The sudden coolness left by the kitten was quickly dismissed as Xander lay back along the couch, dragging the blond on top of him. The vampire smiled widely as he snuggled into the youth´s warmth, his whole front feeling like he was lying on top of an electric blanket. Xander wrapped his arms around the smaller demon, decorating the pale face with delicate kisses as he tried to keep his mind off the totally unwanted news.
One hand making soothing circles on cool flesh, Xander allowed his mind to wander back to earlier on that day. As soon as he had gotten into work, he had known something was wrong. Both Josesse and Mac had called him over, and for a brief instant he had thought he was about to be fired. Once in the portable office, he had been stunned at first upon hearing the news. He and the vampire had both been counting down the days until Stan left the company, neither of them being able to stand the native Alaskan.
The two other men had explained the situation as calmly as possible and Xander had come to see it from the company´s point of view. It was true, there wasn´t enough skilled staff that wanted to stay with the company. The youth had quickly come to the same conclusion as the rest of his workmates. The men and women who came for two or three weeks at a time to work with the company, trying to experience the wilds of Alaska, were more annoying than helpful. He really couldn´t blame the company for wanting to hang onto one of its longest–working employees.
Josesse had calmed the furious brunette by telling him that Mac was looking into getting Stan swapped with another employee from one of the company´s other branches, but so far it didn´t look like a viable option. Upon leaving the office he had had to restrain himself from beating a smirking Stan into a deep coma. As bad as the other man was, he had never made a single comment about Spike since the party at Mac´s place after Xander had made it patently obvious that he would tolerate no–one touching or picking on the smaller blond. Xander however, was just waiting for the one little slipped comment that would justify his beating of Stan again.
With a giggle, he snapped back into the present as he found his neck being gently sucked on by a cool set of lips. The vampire´s soft hair was tickling his chin, the small hands slowly creeping under his workshirt.
"Shower?"
"Y.e.s..n.i.c.e..s.h.a.g?"
~ Yeah pet, want a good shag in there as well, a hard wank too! ~
"Yes Spike, a shag as well."
Hauled up, Xander laughed, feeling some of the previous tension slip away as he followed a leering blond into the cooler bathroom. Both men stripped off, their clothes thrown to the floor in a colourful display. Water turned on, Spike was helped into the pounding water, Xander grinding against the smaller man´s backside with an achingly hard cock. Clasping the vampire tightly to his chest, the brunette rubbed his shaft between the perfectly formed buttocks, eliciting moans from them both.
Fumbling with the ever–present lube, Spike flipped open the lid, pouring a small amount into his pale hand. One hand reached around behind him, the vampire ran his lubed fingers slowly up and down the hot, thick shaft, grinning as Xander let his head thump down onto his shoulder. Once he was satisfied that his Claimant´s cock was well prepared, he poured some more lube into his hand before starting his own preparation. With a grunt, he allowed Xander to take over for him, groaning as he felt a large finger brush against his prostate.
Xander gritted his teeth as he pulled his last finger from the tight, cool channel of his Adored. One last rub of his cock against the pale rosebud, he pushed firmly into the resisting flesh. With short, firm, thrusts, he soon found himself embedded to the hilt, panting with the effort of trying not to go too hard. He didn´t want to hurt the vampire just yet, not until Spike was used to being fucked again. Just listening to the almost whispered grunts set his heart racing again, encouraging him to start a slow rocking.
Moving to meet every thrust into him, the blond braced himself against the shower wall, eyes rolling as he felt the thick organ pulsing steadily inside of him. He could hear the whelp´s heartbeat grow faster at each little whimper the vampire emitted. With each thrust, he could feel the pressure increasing, his own hard cock being ignored. A hand reached down, he grasped his shaft in a firm hold, using the warm water for lubrication. Timing his fisting with Xander´s thrusts, the two men set up a comfortable routine, each one enjoying the time out from the worries of the outer world.
Almost there, the brunette reaffirmed his grip on the slender white hips, his fingers indenting the pale flesh. Another thrust and Xander watched as the vampire came into the corner of the shower, signalling that it was time for his own release. Muffling his guttural grunts into the crook of the blond´s neck, the youth held the smaller man still as he flooded the cool channel with his seed. Upon pulling out, he gently turned the vampire to face him, leaning down to nibble at the cool lips.
Arms wrapped around each other, the two men enjoying the mutual comfort being offered.
23 Friday 2001
8.52 pm
Eyes downcast to the dirty concrete, Spike fiddled nervously with the dangling string of his apron. Nodding to the quiet words, he agreed to the terms the other man was telling him. At each pause, the vampire nodded harder, swallowing in fear. Stomach twisting, he wondered just how Diehl had found out where he worked.
Everything had been fine since returning from Fairbanks. Xander still didn´t know about his arrest, Lukas had gotten the ball rolling on the vampires drivers licence and birth certificate and Spike had finally thought of what to get Xander for his up and coming birthday. Off to work he had toddled earlier that afternoon, walking as usual. The cold not really getting to him even though he did feel it, thankful for the thick jacket Joyce had shamed the others into buying for him.
Work had been great, one of the lower kitchen hands showing him how to carve onion flowers and carrot dragons for decoration. Everything had been fine up until a few minutes ago. Helen had answered a knock at the back door, calling Spike over after a few sharp words to the concealed person.
With his senses clogged with numerous heated aromas, he hadn´t really picked up the visitors scent until a few steps away and then it had been too late. A large hand had reached out and grabbed him, dragging him from the safety of the kitchen and into the cold air. The door had been firmly closed, leaving the vampire pressed against the restaurant wall. Diehl had spat at him, slapping at the vampire as he had reached up to wipe at the spittle making its slow way down his face.
After being told not to move, Spike had allowed it to continue its journey, listening to the other man threaten Xander´s life if the vampire didn´t co–operate. How Diehl knew Xander was his boyfriend, he really didn´t know but he did know that the ex–Initiative soldier was deadly serious about his threats. The vampire had known the other man was going to be a problem sooner or later but had been praying for later. Unfortunately life wasn´t that kind. Now he was wishing Xander would put in for a transfer, maybe he could talk to him tonight?
A punch to the stomach brought him back to reality, Spike sucking in a lungful of unneeded air as his brutalized muscles protested.
"You fucking listen to me when I speak to you Bitch. You do as I say and no harm will come to that faggot you live with, got me?"
Head nodded vigorously, Spike wished for divine intervention of some sort. All he wanted to do was go inside and finish the onions he had started on.
"I´ll be at your place next Friday. Don´t fucking disappoint me, be there when I arrive or....."
Spike was nodding so hard and fast, he thought his head would fall off. He was going to be there. If that was what Diehl wanted, then he would be waiting. The demon was horrified by what the other man was suggesting, worried about how he had let the last sentence trail off, not even bothering with another threat. That the ex–soldier knew just how to play him. The vampire sniffed, his tears continuing to roll down his cheeks. He was scared, it was something he couldn’t deny.
"Don´t cry Sweetheart, you won´t have to do much, I promise."
Almost tenderly, the ex–soldier held the blonde´s chin up, forcing the vampire to drop his eyes lower. Trembling in fright, Spike wished the other man would just rape or beat him, anything for it to be over. The taller man dropped an unexpected kiss on the vampires forehead, stunning the panting demon.
"See you next week, Bitch."
Chin released, Spike wobbled to the ground as Diehl strode away to his awaiting car. Rubbing furiously at his forehead, he waited a few minutes before trying to stand again. Why did everything have to stuff up on him? Were his previous crimes really so bad that fate had it in for him?
Eyes wiped, the vampire slowly rose once he saw the ex–soldiers car disappear from view. He was frightened of what the other man had promised to inflict upon Xander if the demon didn´t co–operate. Bodily harm, beatings and even a gang rape, much like Spikes own. It was that threat that had made the demon choke, gagging on the rising bile.
The one that had made him the most frightened had been the threat to tell Xander about his escapades in Fairbanks. It had been a truly sobering moment when the demon had realised that he was more scared of copping the brunt of Xander´s temper than he was of the ex–Iniative soldier. It was this that led him to his descion.
He was going to have to find a way to dispose of the soldier before next Friday. There was not a chance in hell that he wanted to tell Xander about Diehl, not with the whole stress about Stan. Unfortunately, he wasn´t able to see a way out other than to tell Xander the truth about Diehl and his involvement in the crypt incident.
Diehl was the one solder that Spike officially was an Adored to. The taller man was the first one to cum on the vampires face, completing the claiming ritual. A forced sexual encounter followed by the humiliation of having his face covered in cum.
It was a horrifyingly simple ritual. One would think that demons could come up with a more complicated ritual for picking sexual slaves amongst their own species but obviously not. When vampires initiated it, the Claimant usually broke enough bones to ensure the intended Adored was unable to resist much, pretty much like his own claiming in the crypt. After the initial claim, the Adoreds were usually ´claimed´ again before the five year period was over unless the Claimant got tired of them and let them go.
The vampire was sure that once Xander found out who the previously unnamed soldier was, the younger brunette was going to go mental. Hopefully, the younger male would find out how to get rid of the soldier. Something that Spike had faith in.
2 march, Friday, 2001
9.44 am
I can´t do this anymore.
I´m sick and tired of washing dishes, chopping sodding vegetables for food that I will never be able to taste due to the high garlic content. Getting my jollies from bashing pieces of days old dead animals. Carving bloody carrot dragons. Waste of time, they just get eaten anyway.
I used to like walking to work every Thursday, Friday and Saturday afternoon. Won´t be able to do it for much longer, so I´m trying to enjoy it while it lasts. The sun will be shining full force in about a month when its time for me to leave for the kitchen, that is if I´m not too affected by the "Summer Hibernation" that can disable vampires. Now I have this fear that my rapist will stop me along the way, on a deserted patch of road and offer to drive me the rest of the way.
What would he do if I said no?
More importantly, what will he do if I just get in the car with no argument?
I feel like I´ve been shoved back to Sunnydale, I don´t want to venture out of the front door without Xander by my side. The small freedom I regained when we moved and I started work has shrunk as my fears have mounted again. I can smell Diehl’s scent over everything I touch. Logically I know its not there but I can´t seem to wrap my mind around it. Last night when I was taking a shower, I squealed when Xander hopped in with me. All I could smell was Diehl, beer and sweat.
I pretended that my head hurt when Xander asked me what was wrong. Stood in the warm water and let my Claimant press kisses to my ´hurting´ scalp. Had a fucking doozy of a nightmare last Friday night. Not one of the usuals, where Arseholes Inc. take turns to stomp on me or rape me but the whole event in the crypt, the whole nasty re–digitalised version.
I´m a Master Vampire and I shouldn´t be nervous around humans, I shouldn´t have the constant fear that I will one day unconsciously attempt to defend myself against a human and get a headache in return. I´ve raped, maimed, tortured and murdered my way across continents and islands. I still am technically one quarter of the Scourge of Europe. It´s a name that still strikes fear into any demon. I should be sitting in a bar somewhere with my Dark Princess, opposite Angelus and Darla, whisky and beer whetting our appetites. Scoping out our next meals.
The fact that one of us is chipped, one souled, one dead and the last quarter of the Scourge is insane shouldn´t be taken into account but it won´t be long before even that smidgeon of respect is taken as demons lose their fear of me. What I´m about to do is going to make that decision for any demon really easy.
I´m William the Bloody and I´m about to let my rapist into my home.
I´m going to let him do whatever he wants to me.
I´m too scared of Xander´s moods to tell him about Diehl, every time I came close, I would freeze.
In ten minutes, Diehl will be knocking at my door and I´m frightened by what is about to happen but realising that I´m more scared of Xander´s moods makes me wonder if Xander is worth it?
I love him and I´m doing this for him. If it was just me, I would up sticks and fucking run but I don´t want Xander to go through what I did.
Is he worth the beatings, the snarled putdowns? Should I have stayed after the rape and it was rape back in the kitchen, I´m not going to lie to myself anymore. Should I still take Lukas´ advice and leave after I manage to deal with the ex–soldier?
If I leave before Xander officially claims me, I will be free. My heart will be breaking but in time it will heal...I think it will. I don´t want to risk falling out of love with him if he continues to beat me, even if he does become my official Claimant.
I don´t want to make these decisions...I don´t want to think about anything anymore.
Diehl? He´s at the door and he´s early.
I suppose I should take a deep breath and just get it over with.
It´s Diehl that´s making me think like this. Once he´s gone, these stupid thoughts will be no more.
2 march, Friday, 2001
2.17 pm
Wiping his brow, Xander welcomed the small droplets of sweat that were forming across his forehead. It meant the warmer weather was definitely on its way. In the past few months, no matter how hard he worked, he had been unable to work up a decent sweat with out shivering from the intense cold a few seconds later.
Still, he was thankful that the current project was all indoors at the moment. With such a staff shortage, the work crew he was in had to do nearly all of the indoor carpentry and fixture installation as well as bricking the shell of the latest projects. The brunette liked the carpentry and the time spent indoors but he was looking forward to getting back outdoors and using his work time to just do the basic shell constructions.
Deep in concentration while measuring a length of Formica for a tabletop, he at first took no notice of the piping of his beeper. Only a few seconds later, he jerked upright as the tiny black box went into vibrator mode. Trying not to giggle as it vibrated against his ticklish left hip, Xander stared down at the number flashing on the lit screen.
137
His lucky number and the vampires. Unfortunately, it also meant that Spike was either in the process of having a ´flash´ or had just experienced one. It meant that he had to get home as fast as possible. Heart rate accelerating beyond the realms of normal, he ignored the startled faces of his workmates as he pushed his way past them, towards Mac. He had already informed his boss about the beeper, putting the vampires ´episodes´ down to after affects of the car accident. Both Mac and Josesse had sympathised with him, telling him that they hoped the young man´s partner would never need to call.
"Mac, Spike just beeped me. I have to go, I´m sorry."
"It´s alright, just go. You can make the hours up later if it´s not too serious. Call me..tell me if everything is ok?"
Hand run through his hair, Xander tried to shove down the rising anxiety. With a distracted nod to his boss´ question, he gave a halfhearted wave to Josesse while making his way to the car. A twist of the key, he threw the transmission into drive, not even bothering to let the car warm up like usual. Providing the roads were ok, it would only take him 20 minutes to get back home.
Hoping that the vampire was alright, Xander pressed his foot hard against the accelerator paying scant attention to the mild swerving of the old commodore.
23 minutes later,
Car steering wheel wrenched into the locking position, Xander threw open his door while struggling with a seatbelt that was refusing to retract.
"Fuck! Bloody thing, just get off me!"
"Thank you."
Muttering the snarky comment, the agitated brunette took a few deep breathes before inserting the key into the lock. Things must be bad for the vampire, the door was usually flung open before Xander even had the chance to pull out his keys. The door pushed open slowly, Xander let his eyes adjust to the darkness of the cabin.
"Spike?"
Stepping into the cabin, the youth panned his vision over the main room, his gaze settling on a figure curled into a ball on the middle of the mattresses.
"Spike, I´m home now and everything is going to be ok."
A small whine greeted Xander´s ears at the comment. A few strides took him to the vampire´s side, the brunette sinking to his knees while scooping the shaking figure into his arms. With firm but gentle fingers, he raised the bleached blond´s chin, noting the pale features were scrunched tight, tears rolling down the sharp planes of his cheeks.
"It´s alright Spike, just relax. I´m here now...just relax."
Minutes passed as Xander rocked the shivering, whimpering male in his warm clasp, the vampire clinging to him. Humming a nonsensical tune, the brunette wondered just what had happened this time. What part of the vampire´s game face had been affected, which part would be coming through next? He dared not run his fingers through the soft hair, afraid of causing more pain to the vampire. The minutes slowly ticked by as Spike´s shaking finally started to calm down, his grip loosening a little.
"Ssshhhh, sssshhhh. Are you feeling a little better now?"
A small nod.
"Do you want me to call Giles?"
Slightly larger headshake.
Shifting slightly, Xander leaned back against the cabin wall, Spike moving to sit between the brunette´s spread thighs. Pulled back against the warm chest, the vampire allowed his head to drop back, nestling into Xander´s neck. Eyes closed, the bleached blond drank in the comforting scent of his Claimant, letting the familiar sound of the youth´s breathing calm him further. What on earth had he been thinking of earlier? He was obviously so much safer when Xander was around despite the brunette´s vile temper.
"You want a coffee?"
Small nod.
With a kiss dropped onto the soft expanse of almost white hair, Xander gently manoeuvred the vampire to one side. Stretching his protesting limbs, the brunette smiled down at the smaller male as Spike started ´talking´.
"T.h.r.e.e..b.u.g.a.r.s?"
"Bugars?"
A snort of frustration and a hiccup later, Spike was watching Xander getting out a packet of the caribou blood. Wiping his eyes, the vampire sniffled a small smile as he was made both a mug of blood and a coffee with extra milk and three sugars. He felt his heart swell with love at the gesture. True, it wasn´t much but it was just one of the little extra´s that had made him fall in love with Xander. His Claimant would take care of him.
"Are you sure you feel ok?"
"M.y..h.e.a.d..s.t.i.l.l..h.u.r.t.d..a..b.i.t"
"Yeah, but its better than before isn´t it?"
At Spikes nod, Xander breathed a sigh of relief. He really hadn´t known what to expect when he had come through the front door. The vampire could have been unconscious or still in the throes of the ´flash´, Xander had obviously just come in on the tail end of one. The brunette thought the vampire was lucky he had been conscious enough to call the beeper. Kettle boiled, he poured the water into two mugs, milk added to both a moment later.
"Here you go Mr. Naptha...I really don´t know *how* you can drink so much sugar?"
Scowling slightly at the name, Spike signed that he really didn´t know how Xander ate so much chocolate. The brunette grinned at the comment, seating himself on the mattress, leaning back against the wall once again. Spike smiled a little as he snuggled back into Xander´s larger frame, sipping from the blood and coffee alternately. The salty caribou blended nicely with the extra sugar in the coffee. They sat quietly together, drinking their coffees.
"Hey, where’s the cat?"
With that question, Spike felt his stomach drop.
He burst into fresh tears.
