Little Things 2
"Spike!" Xander calls, before he´s even through the door.
The vampire perks up from where he´s sat on the bed.
"Get over here." Xander says, dismissively. "I brought you something."
Spike moves off the bed, hating the moments before and after the pain because they´re just fake and meaningless to him. Only Xander´s humanity demands it. Spike´s humanity only needs the pain. That´s all he´s ever going to need.
He´s kneeling before the human, waiting for whatever it is Xander has planned. Doesn´t care as long as he can forget that nagging pain in his head.
Xander smirks as he pulls out a partially open brown package and from it, pulls a long length of leather. Spike´s eyes go to widen, but he catches himself and looks down.
"I´m only doing this because you deserve it, Spike. You asked me for it, now you´re going to get it." Xander assures him.
Spike nods, he accepted his fate a long time ago.
"But first, you have to greet me properly. Don´t tell me you´ve forgotten already?" Xander teases.
"No." Spike says simply, his hands reaching forward as they have done a thousand times before. Xander looks ahead, up...anywhere but at the vampire handling his cock. As much as he likes to hurt Spike, he can´t look at who it is pleasuring him. He´s afraid to admit what he´s actually become.
Spike gently eases Xander to an erection before wrapping his lips around the tip of his cock. Moving down the length, he hears the moan of encouragement from above and it urges him on. At least he can do something right.
"You make a great whore." Xander says, his hands tangling inside Spike´s messy hair and following his head as it moves up and down the shaft, getting deeper and deeper each time.
"Take it all in." Xander orders, loving the feel of Spike´s warm mouth encasing his whole cock at once. He groans as Spike obeys and comes soon after.
Spike pulls away, his face emotionless while Xander rearranges his clothing. "Stand and place your hands on the bed post, legs apart. I wanna test this baby out."
Moving reluctantly, Spike stands and obeys. He doesn´t want this. Doesn´t want it at all because his demon resents that *Xander Harris* can hurt him. Doesn´t *want* it but needs it. Can´t stand to think of what he´s done. At least this way he´s not the bad guy. Always was the one to take the easy way out.
"Pay attention Spike. Remember why you deserve this." Xander sneers.
Spike unintentionally frowns. He´s glad Xander can´t see him right now, because he doesn´t want Xander to know how much it gets to him. He´s there to escape his past, not to be berated about it.
The first blow causes him to cry out in shock. He knows Xander´s no expert, but the boy can still wield a whip with painful consequences.
Fourteen lashes later and Spike´s ready to pass out. He hurts so badly and Xander just won´t stop. He knows he deserves it all but he can´t help but want to be free from the situation he´s in.
"Stop, please." Spike whispers, his hands clutching the bedposts so tight he´s afraid he´ll crush them.
"Stop? Did you ever stop when your victims begged? You liked hurting people, Spike. And now you like being hurt. It´s a sad and pathetic way to end up, but you deserve it."
"I don´t..." Spike said, before he could stop himself.
Xander laughed. "You´re a murderer, a demon, a monster...you´re fucking evil. You tried to rape Buffy..."
"Stop..."
"You would have ripped us all apart if you´d got the chip out. Imagine doing that to Dawn. Can you see her face?"
"Stop it!"
"Can you see her face?!" Xander demands. "You could have done that to her. You´re nothing. You´re disgusting and you deserve everything I give to you."
"Shut up!" Spike begged.
"It´s only a matter of time before you kill again. You´re a monster. No one will ever love you. People can´t love a murderer. People can´t love monsters." Xander hisses, raising the whip to strike again.
Spinning round, Spike grabs the arm mid air and twists it painfully, screaming in anger as tears roll down his cheeks. "I´m not a monster, I´m not a monster, I´m not a monster."
Spike and Xander crash down onto the floor, the vampire easily over powering the human while fists crash into the delicate bones below.
"Spike!" Xander begs, but nothing gets through to Spike. He only sees his demon below him. Wants to beat it until it dies. Wants it to die and take it´s bloody past with it. Spike wants to be free and he can´t be until the demon inside has gone.
When the cries of pain no longer fill the room, Spike stops, his anger extinguishing quickly. He barely realises he´s in pain, because he´s finally seeing straight. And below him isn´t the demon he blames for everything. Below him is Xander.
And Xander´s not moving.
Xander´s not breathing.
Sobbing, Spike holds the body in his arms, cradling it like a child. The clothes hang from the bloodied human and dirt covers the bare patches of skin. And Spike just knows it isn´t right. Xander is never dirty. Xander keeps clean...it isn´t right for him to be dirty. He stops crying just long enough to move Xander´s limp head from his lap and get up. His arms hook under the armpits and he begins to drag Xander across the room, towards the little bathroom.
Once inside, Spike runs the hot water in full blast and undresses Xander carefully. Lifting the human again, Xander is guided into the bathtub of scolding water. Spike follows, sitting behind Xander as Xander had often done with him. His arms wrap round the cold chest and hold him up as they sit there together in silence.
Tears still running down his dirty cheeks, Spike starts to wash away the dirt on Xander´s body. The dirt...and the blood.
He begins crying louder, his hands scrubbing with great effort because he just *has* to get Xander clean.
"God, I´m sorry, I´m so sorry. I´m sorry, I´m sorry." Spike cries as he rocks him and Xander back and forth. "I didn´t mean to, I´ll be better, just say it´s okay."
But for once, Xander doesn´t reply. Just stares forward with that glazed look in his eyes.
And Spike cries.
The End
